Amanda Miller

Snoring Away

2010-03-18T04:15:00.000-07:00

Well woke up at like 0330 and can't fall back asleep. I realized going through all of this you can't really get on a schedule. I get tired and I want to sleep, if that's 5pm then I sleep but then end up waking up early. Yesterday was a long day for me and a bit disheartening so even though I was exhausted I only slept for about 5 hrs last night and now I'm awake. Decided to go ahead and update away while my brother snores his little butt off a couple feet away.

We had to leave for SD at like 445 to get down there by 800. The plan was to get down early and finish so we could leave by noon to miss traffic. We did pretty good but it was really rough for me while I was there. Oh just to tell everyone they've had to put me on a permanent pretty high dose of pain meds until I get better. Didn't think I was in so much pain but I notice real quick when I've fallen behind on taking it. Anyways, my doctor and I had all these things we discussed(because it's the only time I can see him so we end up deciding things last minute) and I start not being able to pay attention and sweating like crazy. He examined me and put me on diuretics as well as a standby bottle of extreme stuff to add if it's not working to try and get my uncomfortable swelling down. He told me I'm going to pee a lot but try to not hydrate as much anymore. I look at him like he was crazy. He said "seriously, I know your an athlete and you know how important staying hydrated is but in your situation it's not hydrating you, it's hurting you. bout a liter and a half a day and that's it. Trying ice chips works wonders" How do you go from pretty much 2Gal a day to a liter and a half? I said "so you want my piss to be dark?" He said yes so got to start trying it. Anyone that knows me knows I'm not a happy person when I'm not hydrated hehe but if it'll help the swelling great.

We also talked about doing radiation on this tumor on my leg because it's literally growing by the day. We got it all set up but by this time I realized I was way past due for pain meds. The radiologist wanted to keep me to do a quick Ct scan of my leg to get a depth on treatment so we can start next week. I asked if I could go do chemo first because I know I could get pain meds and I'd be great to stay there for awhile but all he cared about was himself and making things convenient for him. He said it's only 30-45min. Yep I no that, that's about an hour and a half. So I basically told him to piss off. Now I got to call my doc to try and mend the burnt bridge and explain to the other doc why I did what I did.

I've realized only genuine people care about others and I could tell he wasn't one of those people and in my situation right now I've learned to be first. I love to help others anytime I can but when it comes to me starting to be in pain anything close like I was the other night hehe I'll leave it at that.

I really hope I'm starting not to talk to much on my blog, if I go to much into details please let me know I can shorten it so I keep everyone entertained better. Last thing, on top of everything else my doc decides to show my mother my most recent CT scans I got and explain them to her. I was excited because I personally have never seen anything like this they always just read me the results. It was crazy to see how much the cancer has taken over my liver, my lungs were still looking pretty good, but now I have problems elsewhere. My doc also showed how my digestive tract was working and only about half of tract is getting anything in it. Tumors have decided to embed themselves in the fat lining of my tract and my doc also said that the cancer has probably spread elsewhere we just can't see it yet because there aren't enough of them together to show up yet. I wasn't even upset at the moment. I still don't know how to feel about everything probably why I couldn't sleep that well. I've emailed UCLA to see if I had gotten a pelvis scan included when I was there just 3 weeks ago to see if it spread it that amount of time. I think I've just gotten so used to getting bad news that I expect it. My doctor is so positive and he tells me yesterday, "I'm not calling you terminal, I'm not giving up on you and I don't think, by the time I've known you that you are ready to give up either.............are you?" It's pretty amazing to finally have a doctor on your side that thinks that way and actually cares. He will definitely keep the motivation up:)

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2010/03/cracking-and-popping-and-clicking-oh-my/

Holy Crap!

2010-03-16T12:39:00.001-07:00

I never thought a human being could endure as much pain as I have over the past few days. Being on a daily extreme roller coaster sucks really bad. I can't plan anything, everything has to be spur of the moment. Friday I felt pretty good, was able to do some stuff around the house and make phone calls to people I needed too. Saturday morning I woke up at like 0430 in throbbing bone pain in my lower body. I don't know how to even explain it. My family was getting in at 9:30 that night and I wanted to go and pick them up with my roommate. I doped myself up that day and off we went to the airport. By the time they got in the truck I was in so much pain I had to get into a zone and just concentrate mentally. Told everyone to leave me alone and I did what I could. By the end of the ride we were getting off the highway to go to the ER not home. Had a horrible experience at the hospital that I don't even want to explain but after they gave me a ton of good meds and sent us on our way it was 645 in the morning. Yah like 8 hrs in the "ER".

Since then I've just been staying a bit doped up so I don't have to go thorough pain like that again. I've been sleeping way more than I want to and just trying to walk little steps here and there because my belly is swelling again. Oh and that tumor on my leg has gotten massive! So big it's starting to bother me. I know once I get a few more chemo treatments in me it will start to shrink so for now just trying to deal with it. Tomorrow we head down for my next treatment speaking of which. I'm just ready to start feeling better. I can't stand this anymore. I'm ready for my organs to be operating on a normal basis. Well I'm kind of nodding off so I'll let you guys go and I'll try to update once I get my second dose of "hazardous materials" run through every part of my body.

http://www.paleobrands.com/2010/03/09/vit-d-and-muscle-mass/

First Chemo

2010-03-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

Well I'm getting released out of the hospital today! I'm pretty excited considering being trapped in a room all day for the last 3 days. Also, my mom and brother are flying out here to stay with me for awhile...I'm really happy. Having my family here is going to put me in really high spirits and help me to fight this thing off for good.

I got my first chemo treatment yesterday and it wasn't that bad but then again they don't have my on the extreme types of chemo. I start my other one in 2 weeks. We will have to see how that one goes. I was really hot during the treatment and had severe cold sweats last night when I slept. It was the worst I've ever had. I woke up soaked like I had just jumped in a pool. I'm so happy my friend Kaarla had been at the hospital with me because she really helped me out while I was here even though I'm so stubborn when it comes to caring for myself:) Thanks Kaarla. True friends are the best! I'll just keep all of you updated because who knows how I'll feel as the chemo continues. My liver swelling is still constant but the hospital was great about having me on pain meds since I've been here and it feels sooooooooo much better. Especially today. I can walk around without being crippled, I can stand all the way up straight again, and I'm even breathing a bit better too. Hopefully they send me home with some pretty good stuff so this can continue. Also, haven't told my mom yet but we are going to go shopping while she's here. She's going to help me get some scarves and bandanas for my soon to be bald head and a bit of make-up too. It'll be a great and emotional experience for both of us. For those of you that don't know me my mother was diagnosed with a severe case of breast cancer 2 years ago. She went through chemo and lost all her hair. It's still growing back now but she's as beautiful as ever.

One last thing before I end today's post. I know a lot of you kind of know what happened leading up to this but I have new readers and some people are a bit confused by everything so I just wanted to clarify my history so everyone knows:)

This is my 3rd recurrence of Melanoma. I had skin Melanoma on my right leg 4 years ago. It wasn't under the skin yet so I was Stage 1 they just removed a hugh portion of skin and stitched me up. Then last year in Aug I found just a little skin colored lump under my skin on the same leg as before but it was up near my groin area. I had scans done and it was all located in that area(from what they said). I was considered Stage 3a. I went in for surgery and they did a lymph node dissection of my right leg. This consists of removing all your lymph nodes (I had 16) and tissue, they cut my Sartorius muscle off my hip, rerouted over my Femoral artery (there was no more protection for it once everything was gone) and other major veins (one they actually cut a piece out of because it was part of the tissue and no they don't replace it just stitch it up), and attached it to my inguinal ligament (which is the crease where you bend your leg). Pretty major surgery and I lost all sensations off the top of my leg down to my quad even still today. Started rehab and transfered to Cali to finished adjuvant therapy (what you get to try and prevent cancer from coming back) at UCLA. I was enrolled in a trial there and had to get updated scans because they need them to be with in 30 days for it. I my last set in Sep and it was now Nov. UCLA gave me the results of these scans, multiple lesions in the liver and lung with the biggest being 2.8 cm. So they could no longer enroll me because I was not considered disease free anymore. They enrolled me into another trial, that was the one I just got taken off of and now here I am today with chemo. I really hope this clears it all up for everyone. I will be still be posting my links of learning when I don't have so much to post:) Stay tuned and have a happy Thursday. Go eat a really big ice cream today for me!

BIG Update!

2010-03-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

Ok finally got a few minutes to talk to everyone. I've been so busy the last couple days that when I got free time I just slept because I'm in so much pain as well. I wanted to let all of you know what has been happening the past few days.

First, I want to remind everyone that I started this blog for all of you. I have repeatedly told people that I post so I don't have to repeat myself 50 times. I already have 2 parents, my chain of command, and doctors that I have to do that with. In the condition I'm in I don't have the energy or breath to talk to everyone, I haven't been feeling well enough to talk and sometimes I like to just be left alone. I'm not saying this to offend anyone by no means because it truly keeps my spirit up to know I have so many people that care but I'm so worried about my treatment right now that I don't have time to talk to the 9 people that have been trying to get ahold of me. Sorry guys!

Alright, as most of you know I went to UCLA yesterday to find out results. I prepared myself for the worse because I could feel the changes in my body and the tumor on my leg was growing. The bad news came. I'm already not responding to the trial at UCLA. My tumors have grown. The doc also said to me "Amanda, you remember when I told you that people will respond but it's only for a period of time?" I said "yah" he went on to say "Well I never thought your time would be so short. You had the shortest response time than anyone else on the trial and you have THE MOST aggressive case of Melanoma I've ever seen". Thanks doc. Let me just remind you that this is a doc that specializes in Melanoma and has been doing it for years. Why am I the lucky one? I've never had the best luck with stuff and have always had to work my butt off for anything and I wasn't expecting this to be any different but it just sucks. We sat and talked and he threw another trial out at me but it just opened this much and they don't know enough about it. I told him I needed time to think and wanted to talk to some other people. I also had to go into dermatology while I was there so they could get a biopsy of the new tissue in the massive tumor on my leg. As I was sitting down with the derm he goes on to tell me that my doctor is actually uncertain what to do about my case. The problem with my case is that with it being so aggressive a week could make a difference so whatever decision we make is probably the only chance we get.

I had one of the girls from work driving me home and I pretty much just sat there in silence the whole way home trying to think about everything and gather my thoughts. It was a huge bummer to find out news like this. I kept thinking "maybe the statistics are right, people diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma are dead within a year, and geez will I even make it to see 25, how did it happen so quick? I just competed in the CF Games less than a year ago and now I'm dying." I've learned that you just get put through trials during life and you got to accept it. By the end of the night I was in excruciating pain. Talk about pain that is crippling people, you take one step and you want to collapse on the floor. Thank God Tony is around. He's been an angel since I started getting worse again. I wanted to go to the ER so bad last night but knew that I am risking my treatments if I did so I sucked it up for something better. I also managed to call my doc down in San Diego as well yesterday so we can discuss my next option. It just so happens I had to come down to SD today for my medical stuff I'm going through to get processed out of the military so we set things up so we could meet.

Tony was able to drive me down because I'm in no condition to drive with all the pain. The doc and I sat down for about an hour and discussed about 3 options and decided on the best one that I needed right now (because my liver is very close to failing again my body can't handle the other 2) Doc went on to say "we can outpatient you and it'll take about a week", I told him "doc how about we inpatient me because I don't think I have time to wait. I already called my chain of command and told them I might be staying down here because of what's going on. They are 100% supportive (they've been amazing too). He did an exam on me, felt my liver and said "wow" "ok""I want to start you right away". So now I got admitted to the hospital so I can be on standby for more scans (they need updated in their system), I'm getting a port installed in my neck, and by tomorrow or Thursday I should be starting my first round of chemo treatment. Yep chemo. Great. We decided on 2 different types of chemo and they have about 70% response rate. It's once a week for awhile. The doc said he hopes this can reverse what's going on a bit so we have time to get me on better treatment. I just want to remind everyone that response rate is not a cure rate people. That's means you can relapse. That's what just happened to me on the trial. Well I think I told you as much as I can for now. I don't want to write a novel and I'm going to try and give you guys daily updates since I'm restricted to a hospital:) plus I go for my Ct scan in about 30 minutes (9:00pm) so want to just relax for a few minutes. We all have to just keep praying. The lord does answer prayers:) Amen

Friday

2010-03-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

Well another day down and it's the weekend. I'm pretty nervous for Monday. To find out the results from these scans.......we will know how this treatment is working for me.

I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to cook breakfast. I was tired of boring. I decided to cook pancakes. When I went Paleo, breakfast was the hardest thing to get it to taste good for me. I used to love pancakes, waffles, or french toast and now to replace it with substitutes was almost unacceptable for me. I have done many trial and error since I've started trying to make the perfect paleo pancake. First I started with the main ingredient of almond meal. Disgusting, to dry. I messed around with it a lot, trying to make the batter thinner and thinner so I wouldn't have to use half a bottle of maple syrup to make it taste better. Once it gets thin though you have to cook one pancake, forever, I don't have time for that. Recently I have found a good recipe that is chocolate coconut pancakes. Pretty good and no almond meal. I have found recipes that use a banana as the base and always put it off because it's pretty high in carb but decided to do it this morning and wha la, talk about a delicious pancake. It's the first moist pancake I've had since I switched and you honestly don't even need syrup if you don't want to. I put just a tad of organic strawberry jelly on it and it was awesome! I will give you the recipe just in case you want to try, oh and they cook like regular pancakes (don't take forever):

1 banana

1 egg

1 egg white (whisk stiff)

about 1/2 tsp baking powder

vanilla, cinnamon, salt (however much you want)

butter for pan

Mash banana and mix in egg and egg white. Batter should be a bit lumpy. Add rest of ingredients and mix. Go easy on the butter in the pan. I used just a little and it was almost to much. I like BIG pancakes and this made me 2. It was enough for me. Try to flip it before it gets black even just a little black and they will be perfect. Enjoy!

http://westside-barbell.com/westside-articles/articles2008/SPECIAL_STRENGTH_jan_2008.pdf

Sorry:(

2010-03-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

I kind of got a wake up call today from my friend wondering why I'm slacking on my blog. Sorry! It's really hard to keep up with the simplest things when I don't feel well. I just want to lay down all the time. Oh, I know this is totally off the wall but it's something I need to tell you guys about. I've started watching the travel channel a lot lately and love it because of all the different interesting things they show including.........the food:) I was watching this show called "101 Chowdown Countdown" , basically they traveled to 101 different places in the US with the best/odd different types of food. Let me tell you, some really good stuff that I wish I could just travel to all these places to try, but one really caught my attention that I'm tempted to make myself. It's a cheeseburger and the bun is a Krispy Kreme doughnut. No crap, not kidding people and they put the doughnut on the grill with the burger so the juices soak in. Sounds like it would satisfy every craving. Think about a protein style In-n-Out burger with that! I'm so going to do it on my cheat day. HA!

Ok I'll get off the food. So UCLA canceled my appointment I was supposed to have yesterday because they don't have a copy of my baseline scans. Figures. Remember how unorganized they were before, this doesn't surprise me. They had to call SD and get a copy so they have something to compare my new scans to. I go on Monday now along with seeing a derm while I'm there. Then Wed I have to be back in SD for my VA appointment. Another busy week so trying to get rested because I don't want to run myself down again.

I really wish I could be back in the gym again. I really miss the people and the atmosphere. Colin went up to Canada 2 weeks ago to start in the OPT process of getting certified and it looks like OPT once again has done something amazing for the Crossfit community. He is a genius and it looks like he is putting out some real valuable knowledge. So from what I can tell, people if you get a chance, DO IT. Here is Colin's take on it: http://www.CrossfitVentura.com/crossfit_ventura/2010/03/visiting-the-opt.html

I'll post one extra too:

http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/005141.html

2010-02-28T16:17:00.001-08:00

WOW it's been to long since I lasted posted sorry. I have been feeling horrible over the last week. I started running a high fever while I was down in San Diego and along with that came vomiting and a need for a lot of rest. That's what I've been doing since I got back. My liver has starting causing me a lot of pain again so I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to get it to go down and trust me it's things you guys don't want to hear about. My Naturopath recommended other things to do that I was just like "are you serious" but now, I'm doing it. My diet has been spot on and I feel great since I got back on track. I also have been eating quite a bit of dairy to keep my weight up so I don't look like a freak:)

I had some of my girlfriends over last night, they cooked me dinner and we all sat and watched movies all night. I had so much fun. Today, I got my roommate to go to church with me and he got to experience what I do every week and he loved it. I knew my pastor was great, I think I even seen some tears come to his eyes too (but don't tell him that). Thank you John and Sarah for introducing me to a great teacher of God, and a church that gives so much love to everyone that walks through the doors.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/research/23trial.html?em

This article Rudy happened to stumble upon in Starbucks last week. He asked me if it was the study drug I was on. Well people here it is. The article was posted in the NY Times and is actually a 3 day article. If you would like to read all 3 articles your more than welcome to, you just have to search for the other 2 but one should be enough. They have actually changed the name of it but everyone still knows it by this name. As you can tell by reading it that it does seem like a miracle drug but they are so stuck on where to go now because a lot of people have relapsed after a matter of time and they don't know why. Positive thinking.

Oh, I find out results of scans this week and start my new cycle of treatment. I go to UCLA on Wednesday. I'm getting a bit nervous but just trying to stay positive about it all.

Just an update

2010-02-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Shouldn't be to long today just want to give a quick update. Drove down to San Diego today, will be here until Wednesday. I got to do my disability transition class and chat with a bunch of different people. On Wed I go to UCLA for more scans. I'm a bit nervous because I haven't been eating that well and I notice I've been having a bit of pain. I'm really trying to get back on track but having a hard time eating veggies again. I'm at least eating fruit which is better than bread but I steer off my track whenever I feel like it which tends to be everyday. Time to change:) I got to see some friends tonight that I haven't seen in awhile so that was a blessing.

I got in the gym yesterday again. I noticed my legs are starting to gain pretty quick which doesn't surprise me because I've always been a strong squatter and had a machine for a lower body it was the top of me that I had to work at.

BB Complex-

Deadlift, Hang power clean, push press, rack thruster- 1,1,1 rest 4 min b/t sets

3 rounds:

7 Ring Push ups (to a dynamax ball)

10 Squat Jumps 25lbs

Surprisingly the thrusters were the hardest thing but it was first time doing them since my surgery in Sep and first time doing a rack thruster. Ring push ups were hard but got through them and squat jumps were fine should of went 45lbs. Well hope all is well everyone.

NEW ME!

2010-02-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

Well one thing that sucks about being a cancer patient going through treatments.............you start loosing your hair. With my treatment it's only thinning, not going totally bald(thank goodness) but it was extreme. I've been doing nothing but pulling out gobs and gobs of hair, it was making me sad, so my good friend Brittany chopped it off for me. I'm donating the rest so they can make a wig out of it. At least another cancer patient can have hair too:) I was talking with one of the guys at work today and I explained all the side effects to him and he said "it seems as your body internally is fighting with everything it's got and has given up on your external". Well he's right. Not only is my hair thinning but I have this rash all over and my face is breaking out like I've just hit puberty. Doctor said it will go away after awhile, so for now I just have to do what I can. So here is the new me! The picture on the left was taken about a month ago and the other ones taken today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLN2k0b3g70&feature=player_embedded

Awesome video! I got this off OPTs' website and it's so inspirational. Go to 2:35 and watch until the end it's a little over 7 minutes but worth your time:)

Just an update

2010-02-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

I know I've been updating every couple days just don't have a ton of info right now. I will soon though, life doesn't stay boring forever. I got an appointment for my next set of scans next week and I find out results a week after that. Pretty nervous to know the outcome. I also go down to San Diego next week to set up an appointment with the VA and to do my disability transition class. Big week. I'm also getting my brother to come out here and stay with me until we go back home to FL permanently which will be a couple months but it'll be nice to have him here. He's going through a lot and so am I so we both won't have to be lonely. My brother and I ended up being two totally different people in every aspect of our lives but I think deep down we are the same. My mom made me laugh today when she said "I always said you should of been my boy and Brandon should of been my girl", we were raised and treated a bit different growing up and I'm sure that's why we turned out the way we did but we compliment each other and I think it will be good to live together for a few months.

http://www.mercola.com/article/carbohydrates/paleolithic_diet.htm

Good article for all readers! I would like to apologize in advance to all my CFV friends if I'm not all happy to see you while at the gym. The gym, deep down inside will always be one of my "happy places" but right now it's not. I go in there and just "suck it up" for the time being. It's not fun right now because everything is so hard but my heart makes me one of the biggest fighters there are so I will get through anything. I just wanted to tell all of you in case you wonder why I'm not peppy, huge smiles, or even saying good-bye. I will try my best because God is giving me the opportunity to be there just doing what I am. Oh and I'm officially under 130lbs, going to be a lean machine when I come back:)

WOD:

3 Rounds:

AMRAP DB Shoulder Press 15lb

Deadhang Ring Pull-ups

7- 1 1/4 Front Squats 55lbs

Rest 3min b/t rounds

1-27, 5, rx'd

2-23, 5, rx'd

3-20, 3, rx'd

Real quick, should of went heavier on the DB but thought that was the heaviest I could go. On the pu was shooting for 5 each round but couldn't get it on the last round and only did singles on each one. The 1 1/4 FS were nice and perfect weight. These types of squats work so many more muscles in your body than just a plain FS, awesome movement.

Probably not competing

2010-02-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

Well my trial doc just said to not overdue it with training. I honestly don't think I could if I wanted to. At this moment the gym is not fun for me anyways I'm just making myself go because I know even the little I can do will help stimulate my immune system. It's extremely hard, depressing, and I don't even have full range of motion with my body yet because I am still swollen. I can't do kipping pull-ups, KBS, or anything that requires quick overextension of my midline. I had another mental breakdown tonight in the gym. To think I have officially been doing Crossfit for 2 years and it took less than 2 months to be set back worse than when I first came to start. I know, I know, I have cancer and was basically lying on my death bed last month it's just everything happened so quick that I didn't have time to blink before it was all gone. I'm still in shock over all of this, I still have my up and down moments, so to loose externally what I have worked so hard for can be devastating at times. I decided the best way to get through this is to throw away all my old pr's, WODs, and everything that was the old me because it's not me anymore and to start fresh. Everything I do from here on out will be new, like a new member at my gym. I'm going to train myself with having a severe midline internal injury only doing what my body can handle. Mentally I think I can do it, if not I'm going to drive myself crazy every time I walk in the gym and do anything. Like tonight, I walked up to the bar to Deadlift and could barely lift 185! This is 100lbs off my pr people. That's a lot for only a month and a half. Talk about wanting to throw my fist through a door and then rip it off it's hinges. Needless to say I probably won't even be attempting to go to Regionals because you got to be able to compete as Rx'd and right now I don't see that happening. So cheers to my new beginning (take a shot for me)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5abamRO41fE

http://www.youtube.com/user/deftones?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/5/NbjqruCITIU

I decided to post up some different videos today. These are my 2 favorite bands of all time. They have been for about 10 years now odd enough. I thought over the years this would change but I know now it never will. These guys are amazing! It's odd to like both but lyrically there is so much meaning in what they have to say. The things they talk about and the way they word it truly shows they are gifted bands. It would be my dream to see both bands together in concert one day. Cancer made me miss my one and only opportunity so far but I won't give up:)

Here is my WOD:

1 RM DL

3 Rounds:

250m Row

20 Weighted Step-ups 10lbs, 20" box

10 Hollow Rocks 2 count

DL-185

Time-didn't time just wanted to complete

:(

2010-02-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well another beautiful day down. Finally drove out to Simi Valley today to talk to my artist about my next tattoo. Pretty excited, it's going to be beautiful and have a ton of meaning too. I start it in 3 weeks so I'l post up pics once the project begins.

http://www.sacbee.com/273/story/2479870.html

Today was supposed to be another workout day for me but I think I might be swelling again. Not a good thing AT ALL. I have been feeling a bit dehydrated and I've gained a few pounds. Not trying to jump to conclusions but we'll see. I have changed my diet a bit so that could be contributing to the weight gain as well. I woke from a nap and looked at my stomach and could see my ribcage on the left side but not the right so I know it's a bit swollen. Talked to my father about it and he said it could be from working out. We talked about different scenarios and it seems as though it could be one of them so decided to take another day off. I emailed my trial doc and my Naturopath to see what they think. My Naturopath doc emailed me back and said it could be causing my liver to work more but also said other things like what my father and I had discussed. He said there are some more things we can add to my regimen to help my liver so I said whatever we can do let's do it. I know I'm not straining my body at all but maybe just all the tightening and bending could be adding to the swelling. I will know for sure in a couple days:) I just want to feel normal again!

One more day

2010-02-08T21:46:00.000-08:00

As always I was blessed by another awesome couple of days. I had a great weekend. Did so much I wore myself out for today. Saturday I actually got up and cooked breakfast and then went and watched the UFC at a friends' house. Sunday I went to church and then went to a friends' for Superbowl. Somehow on both days managed to whip up some quick things to eat as well for people at the parties. Oh and church was perfect too(well almost). I actually had tears for this one. I had some contradiction earlier in the week on somethings that were going on and it was crazy we actually talked about it at service. Answered all my questions. I also decided to go up to the front and pray with one of the pastors. I've been wanting to do this but was always so nervous, I was being pulled to the front for some reason on this day. So I talked with one of the pastors and explained everything to him and we started to pray. I immediately had tears come to my eyes as he spoke and I could feel the energy pouring out of him, it was amazing. Everything he prayed for was exactly what I have been wanting. It was so crazy. After he finished I gave him a big hug and said "thank you" like 50 times. Today, I was so wore out from the weekend I slept most of today. I did make it into the gym though:)

http://www.cathletics.com/wod/video/collectedTraining1-11-10.mov

I love these videos.

I didn't want to make this a super long post but it looks as though it's going to be. I sat and thought this weekend about what would be the best way to get myself back. I'm just going to breakdown and build at a moderate rate. I'm not going to overdue it because it will only hurt me more than help so I'm thinking of slow ways to build as quick as my body will allow. It's all about listening to it now. As I sat and rolled out tonight in the gym I started speaking with one of the other trainers in my gym, Matt. Awesome dude and we have become friends along with a ton of others at CFV. I was talking about how hard everything is for me right now and he told me somethings that have given me new inspiration. He started talking about Lance Armstrong and his battle to live. As everyone knows Lance had cancer as well and was fighting for his life. Lance said he would of never won the Tour De France if he wouldn't of had cancer. I looked at Matt confused. I guess before cancer his upper body was to big. He lost so much weight once he got cancer, had to start ALL over, and even though he said it was hell, he got to build himself to be the athlete he wanted to be. This made a light go off in my head and a smile on my face. It made complete sense and it's exactly what I'm going to do. Thank you Matt! People 95lbs feels heavy to me....even just a squat. Any of you that know me this used to be warm-up weight for me. I too have shriveled up to nothing besides my little round belly (hehe). I now weigh around 130lbs. 6 months ago I was 152lbs. I haven't been this small since I did nothing but bad stuff in high school(sorry can't say, in the military still). I'm going to be able to do the same thing as Lance, build myself to be the athlete I want to be. I'm excited. Well I'll shut up now here is my WOD:

High Bar Back Squat (just enough to strain) 3,3,3

"JT"

21, 15, 9

HSPU

Ring Dips

Push-ups

HBBS-45, 80, 95

JT- did all modified with small band and knee pu took around 35 min or so. Wasn't timing just wanted to finish.

Quick

2010-02-05T19:12:00.000-08:00

Ok so want to just do a quick post. I did finally make it to the gym today. I was so happy. It was hard but I eventually got through it. I thought about what I could do since it was my first day back....didn't want to overdue it so I just thought about what would I program for someone that was new but looks in descent shape? Plus, I got so mad last night I did 50 squats, 50 knee push-ups, and 50 sit-ups at a slow pace and could already tell I was a bit sore from just that.

http://startingstrength.com/articles/strength_throwers_starr.pdf

WOD:

Split Jerk (focus more on form than weight) 3,3,3

A1. OH walking lunge 15lb bar; 10 x 3; rest 90 sec b/t sets

A2. Ring Holds AMRAP x 3; rest 90 sec b/t sets

B1. GHD Sit-ups 2020; 10 x 2; rest 60 sec b/t sets

B2. Hip Extensions 10x0; 10 x 2; rest 60 sec b/t sets

SJ- 45, 65, 95 (actually felt heavy)

A1-rx'd

A2-58sec, 40sec, 36sec

B1-rx'd

B2-rx'd

Good News

2010-02-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

Well I'm at work right now and decided to update my blog since there isn't anything fun for me to do. I'm considering going to the gym today because I'm not in a ton of pain, just really sleepy. I'm hoping to just go home and nap and that way I can make it in tonight and if not I'll just do something at my house. I have a whole gym set-up at home I don't know why I don't use it more often.
This is going to be a bit long today so bear with me I'll try to sum it up as best as I can. I went to UCLA yesterday and for the first time got nothing but good news. My doctor hasn't seen me since he put me on the medication and he looked happy to see me as soon as he walked in the door. He interviewed me for side effects and etc on the medication(protocol stuff for the research on the trial don't want to bore you) and then he got into the stuff that I care about. The tumor on my leg has gotten smaller, yes, my liver swelling has gone down, Yes, he can no longer physically feel fluid in my belly(even though he says there is still some there), YEs, and lastly, my bloodwork is starting to look better, YES!!!!!!! 4 different things of good news......is that even possible in my situation, after all the bad news I've been getting? I started crying right in the office thanking the lord for answering everyones' prayers slowly. I just have to pray that the good news only continues. I know why they say one day at a time now, to me, I have so many up and down days I can never tell if I'm getting better or worse but when you got your doctor coming in that hasn't seen you in 3 weeks and he has a smile on his face and he's amazed with my progress. I have some more words of wisdom today after the link of learning(hmm interesting name, HA):

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/whey-isolate-concentrate-hydrolysate/#more-10596

So I started thinking again last night, I have a rare and deadly type of aggressive Melanoma. I started doing some research awhile back on people that have had an agressive type of Melanoma and I haven't found any that have survived yet because it consumes your being so quick that you almost don't have time to react. My survival rate is 4 months from diagnosis. Do you know what that means? I'm supposed to be saying my good-byes this month. The way it was looking the statistics were right too. My liver started failing fast last month and I know my doctors didn't want to say anything to me but I could tell by their reactions yesterday when I went down to start my next cycle of treatment. I thnak God everyday for another beautiful day here and the opportunity to eventually help others when I get better. Life is so short and no one even realizes it. I mean you could walk outside today and have your life taken in an instant and everyone that knew you would say "your life got cut short". I really wish people would realize how important things are in their everyday life and not take it for granted. When you come home in a bad mood and your significant other, your kids, or even your pets try to make you feel better and you act like a stubborn selfish person and shun them away when really you should be relieved and grateful you have poeple like that in your life. Or how about when you got to go home for the "huge" family dinner at Thanksgiving or Christmas and your excited but at the same time you just want it to be over with? Again, thank God you have family and he's given you the blessing to have all of you be able to come together once a year to see and love one another. I'll tell you I miss my family. It's been a year and a half since I've taken a vacation just to see my parents. You kidding? Anyways, I just hope everyone can take a step back and just say thanks for what they have and enjoy it because could you imagine having to be in some serious pain saying goodbye to the people you love this month?

Another Day

2010-02-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

Well my stupid liver still hurts so I'm still sitting around being jacked up on Morphine when I'm not at work. I finally started my protocol from my Naturopath doctor yesterday so I should start to feel better soon, hopefully. I also go back to UCLA tomorrow to start cycle 2 of my trial. That means in less than a month I will be getting updated scans. I'm going to be extremely nervous from here on out with my scans because if I get worse they will take me off the meds and there isn't many options for me left. I will not allow this to happen.

http://www.fit4younutrition.com/article29.html

Also talked with my SD doctor and my paperwork has been typed up and I should be getting a call next week about what type of time frames I'm looking at and the process involved with getting down to SD and out of the military. Um I can't think if there is anything else so I'm going to go. Have a good day:)

A week!

2010-01-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

Man I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. A lot has happened so I'll try to sum most of it up. First, driving back and forth everyday to UCLA and not being able to sleep in really sucks, especially on the weekends. Well beginning of the week I was in the hospital for the final portion of testing. It sucked of course but tried to make the best of it. My side effects have calmed down and I have started to feel better. This is awesome news for me of course because I get really tired of laying around ALL the time. I miss me. Got out Wednesday and they sent me home with a prescription of Morphine. Really? Geez. I hate pain meds especially the ones that make me high as a kite. I didn't need them though until this weekend. Other than all of this I made confirmation with work and my doctor about getting out so the process has officially started. No turning back. I'm excited for the new chapter that is going to begin in my life soon. This is my calling, this is where I start to make positive changes in everyone's life that I can. I will get better and I'm going to help others anyway I can:)

http://www.CrossfitVentura.com/crossfit_ventura/2010/01/new-video-cfv-affiliate-team-challenge.html#comments

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/26/athlete.brains/index.html

http://www.sweetsurprise.com/

Well the first one is a video from the affiliate challenge we had a couple weekends go. I heard it was awesome. Wished I could of went. Faith you did an awesome job and I love the slow down of the guy that was "to sexy". Classic. Oh and Ben, wholly crap you sound amazing! I didn't know we had someone in the gym that could belt out like that. The second is an article. Just an interesting read. Sucks people go through this that type of stuff for a sport they love. You would think people would reconsider but they don't until they are actually going through all the pain. I wonder if the money is that good? The last website talks about high fructose corn syrup, if you get bored you can search around.

Anyways, I've been feeling so good I decided I was going to go to the gym Saturday morning but once I woke up my liver was in excruciating pain. It was making a bubbly feeling every time I breathe in and out and it hurt....BAD. I couldn't stretch all the way up. Needless to say I had to pop a Morphine at like 7 in the morning as my friend drove me to UCLA. It helped but I was sleepy all day and it felt like someone had punched the crap out of my liver and it was just crazy sore all day. It happened again today but I tried to hold out on the pain meds thinking it would go away....nope it didn't. Now this is really going to drive me crazy. I'm well enough and feel good enough to go and do something I love and I can't because my liver hurts. I hope it's my tumors dying because I'll gladly go through this pain knowing that. It's been over a month since I was consistent in the gym and I miss it and the people so my goal is to get back when the pain goes away. Tomorrow I go back to work again:( not happy. I'm going to drop another leave chit for a couple weeks so I can stay home. I'm done coming in just to sit there.....pointless.

Energy

2010-01-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much energy I have when I'm not at work.......that's got to be telling me something. Well I officially decided yesterday that I'm going to have them medically retire me from the military. I'm going to go home and be with my family. I got tons of options but just doing things one day at a time. I still got to tell my chain of command and talk to the doc about it. I get re-admitted to UCLA hospital tomorrow night so I'm going to have a bit of free time on my hands to handle things next week.

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2010/01/on-muscle-strains/

Another good read by Steven. He never ceases to amaze me.

I got some news last night that made me a bit upset but it was the last bit of salt to get thrown on the wound so I will do nothing but heal from here on out so I'm pretty excited.

I also decided to go to the gym today. I had to do something. My belly is still a bit swollen which means my liver function is still down so I know I'm crazy for even going but for those of you that know me...that's me. Got to be crazy to do what I do:) I almost had a breakdown. I know I'm going to have to start all over once I'm finally better and it's not easy but it's still hard to swallow. It's the mental breakdown of an athlete. I know everyone goes through it when a huge event occurs in their life...mine just happens to be a bit more serious than an injury....Stage 4 cancer. It's the biggest and hardest hurdle I will ever have to jump but once I jump it and I'm on the other side, so many great things will come out of me! Back to the gym, it was emotionally so hard to know I'm only performing at about 50%-60%, mentally hard to push through something that you know you are better at but physically your body isn't that strong anymore, and physically it just sucked. I know everyday it will get easier and I will be that much closer to getting back to normal again. After that went to breakfast and pigged out with the roomie!

Just did some cleans up to #105

2K row slow-9:29

Friday!

2010-01-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

First thing.......be HAPPY! It's Friday and we all made it to another beautiful weekend. It was hard for me but I know if I can do it all of you can too.

I decided to wait just a few days before I posted again because I wrote such a long post last time, got to give everyone time to read it along with everything else you do in your busy life. I actually had some other people post my last blog up on their sites (thank you so much) and this means a lot to me. All I have wanted, since I've started my blog is for people to learn from it.....that's it. To know more and more people are reading it makes me feel great to know I'm just making a bit of difference in your life. I'm not judgmental, very open minded, and have a lot of info to pass on. Anything I say, if I offend you, I'm sorry that's not my intention at all. I'm just here to help others step outside their box maybe even for the first time and take a chance. Most of you are crossfitters and do the unknown everyday and you train for the unknowable so you shouldn't be afraid to do it with other things even if they are mental:)

http://loumarsdrums.com/worldrecord/index.html

These videos are quite long but I talked with Robb awhile ago and he told us they were training this guy to break the world record for non-stop drumming so I wanted to post the outcome. He needed to go 120hrs and only made it 108 but still an amazing feat all the same. He talks about the aftermath and how the training helped with all of it. Congrats to Robb and Nicki, they did a good thing helping him.

Well today I feel the worst that I have yet since I've been on the trial meds. I think all the side effects decided to kick in today and man does it hurt. Light sensitivity, migraine, nausea and the list goes on so I won't be talking to much because the computer screen hurts too. Hope all of you are well and have a great weekend!

Taking to long

2010-01-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

Meant to write yesterday but was pretty tired. I started back at work yesterday again and it takes so much out of me just to sit there. Guess I'm not keeping all of you interested if I can't update all the time. I wanted to go to the gym today because I've been feeling a bit better but need to hold it off until tomorrow to see how I feel.

I want to talk about something a bit different today besides my cancer. You probably guessed it already....Crossfit:) I do want to talk a little bit different about the subject though.

I started Crossfit about 2 years ago and I have learned SO much since then. I've become a new person because of it mostly for the better but some not too. As a coach, I've trained myself as well as earned certifications through Crossfit that has all taught me a lot. Since I haven't been able to physically and mentally work out I've noticed a ton of things that I didn't notice before. People get a new type of drive from the competitive world of Crossfit that to often puts blinders on to the rest of the world. They let it take over, control, and run their life. This is a horrible thing that I have seen happen not only to myself but close friends as well as coaches.

I decided to take my shot at training to go to the 2009 CF Games. I didn't understand the type of dedication it would take until later on. I started training hard in Jan and even harder come Feb when I no longer had a coach. I was a baby when it came to coaching and didn't even realize it. Doing trial and error in training with my friend Rudy, owner of CFAlexandria. I trained at 3 different gyms learning different styles of coaching, programming, and trying to become a better athlete myself. I read probably almost every article in the journal I could get my hand on that would help with anything. Subscribed to the performance menu and bought books from the famous Rip and Greg Everett. By May I was overtraining and all I ever thought about was Crossfit. It was like a disease. Any break I got in school I was on the computer looking at different WODs or texting Rudy on something to do with CF. Needless to say I got stomped when I went to the Games. I soon realized I had to give up the food in life that I had always loved in order to become "Elite", bread, pasta, cheese, milk, legumes, less fruit, and less sugar. I noticed I started having to spend more and more money on quality of life and CF stuff and never had anything left over to just go and "have a good time" or take a "mini vacation" without racking it on my credit cards. It's disgusting and exhausting but I did become what I dreamed of in a matter of 2 months. I lost 14lbs, 4% bf, became faster, stronger, and smarter. I was elite. I started blowing people out of the water and it made me feel good. No one really got to witness it besides Rudy and no one probably ever will because I don't ever want anything to ever consume my life like that again.

You can become very burnt out quick as an athlete and a coach if you allow this to happen. Crossfit becomes an addiction, no longer fun. It's almost like it becomes a chore to come into the gym everyday doing 1-4 WODs a day(yes I trained this much leading to the Games) and training your clients as well. Training for the Games is very taxing. I made it to the Games as a single competitor, my next goal is to go with a team just to say I did it. I know I'm not the only person that feels this way I just heard Tanya Wagner talk about it as well.

I want to live life again, save money, go on vacations and to just have fun doing and coaching Crossfit again. I want to eat what I want of course still staying within my standards. I'm not putting down CF either by no means and I don't want people to get a negative from this either because it did change my life for the better, forever. I know what it means to eat right and be the top 99% of being in the best shape of my life. As a coach, I've become very wise and really know how to get the most out of people performance wise. I know how to "push your buttons" as they would say and I still take the time to explain to you the why or how so you understand as well, oh and I know how to keep it fun.

If you want to train for

I hope you can take away some good info from this and even though for most of us that CF is your sport.....just don't make it your life. If you want to train for the Games do it. To be able to go is an honor and everyone should have the opportunity just don't let it consume everything you are and if it does happen to consume you, don't pass judgement on others because they eat different, aren't as fast or strong as you, or as smart as you because you aren't the best and you will eventually get stomped just as I did:) Enjoy the outside, your family, friends, money, and have fun because life is to short to have it consumed by one thing. I hope everyone has a good day, love you all!

Just want to say HI!

2010-01-15T14:36:00.000-08:00

So this picture was taken only a day after I stated the study medication. It looks like the cancer is being eaten away. YES! DIE CANCER! Today it looks even worse, the skin has come off the top. This thing is disgusting! I really wish I could cut this thing off. I can't stand looking at it anymore. Overall I feel pretty good though. My breathing is a tiny bit better and my appetite is like a cavewoman right now. I'm so excited to be hungry and dying of thirst again. I'm eating more and actually tolerating it better than I have been. Belly is still big and prego but everything else seems to be a positive sign.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSSYD5761320080815

Ha! Soon I'll be back in the gym.

Yay!

2010-01-13T10:33:00.000-08:00

I don't quite know why I'm happy today but maybe because I started my study drug yesterday and I have high hopes for it making me feel better for awhile at least. I found out my belly was swelling because my liver is failing. It's quite painful when the doctors don't want to do anything for it. I just lay in bed all the time. I'm just waiting until these meds kick in so it helps. Decided to post up some pictures on what it looks like. Most people just say "hey Amanda now you look like me" but for those of you that know me.......this is about double in size and trust me it is. It's an extra 8 lbs and it hurts. Well mom here is the closest you'll get to me being pregnant...hehe. That's what I would look like, no thanks.

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/12/a-primer-on-plyometrics/

My doctor reassured me that this drug is only a temporary fix and it's only a matter of time before it doesn't work anymore. I talked with my father for awhile yesterday and my doctor and I think I'm going to start the process to get myself medically retired. I still have to talk to a few people about benefits side to see if it's the absolute best option but overall I think it will be the decision. I haven't told my chain of command yet and I'm not until I make my final decision, so those of you that read this and know my chain of command do not open your mouth because this is not final yet, thank you. I have to say that because it seems I've already had a problem with people going behind my back and doing things that I don't approve of because you didn't talk to me first. If I do decide this, my doc says it can take 6 months so I'll still be here for awhile. It's just kind of hard to justify staying away from family to be at work when I started dying last week. I know my work is like family but they can't fully wrap their head around what's going on. I mean, still expecting me to be at work? Really?! I'm having to take leave just because I can't be there because of what I'm going through.

I know I'm blabbing, sorry, just wanted to give a good update. I don't go back to UCLA until next Sun. I get readmitted then for another 3 1/2 days and then off to hopefully a normal life:)

No more counting

2010-01-09T21:07:00.000-08:00

My New Years' kisses! Thanks guys, I love you lots! I don't know where I'd be without all your support.

Also, Happy B-day sis! She turns 12 today.......I can't wait to see you.
I decided to stop counting days until I reach my goal for my diet because it has been stretched out until Feb 1 because the trial limits what I can eat too. One of those things is chocolate. My cheat was going to be a lot of chocolate. I figured I would just stop counting so it will come faster. Well everyone, I've officially started my downhill "temporary" slump. On Monday, I started having some pain in my abdomen where my liver is all the time. I have a hard time getting to sleep and I can no longer sleep on my right side or my back. I'm constantly tired, barely making it 5+ hours without an extreme nap needed. A couple days ago my abdomen got really swollen. It's so swollen it's pushing my belly button out, I can't fully stretch up, and I definitely can't tighten it to do any type of WODs. I talked to my doc about draining the fluid but he said it causes scarring and possible digestive problems and he don't want to do that since I'm being put on the study drug in 3 days. They've offered me pain pills but of course I refuse because I hate the way it makes me feel. I hope everyone keeps praying because I need it. I've talked with Robb and Colin about my nutrition and training and I think I'm going to have to make adjustment because I don't have the strength to keep up with the constant contact. I attempted to WOD today just to get something in but I think that is coming to a stop as well until my swelling goes down.

http://startingstrength.com/articles/active_hip_2_rippetoe.pdf

Here is what I did today and it was actually just the remainder from the front squats I did on Mon:

A1. Weighted Bar Dips 40x1; 4-6 x 3 rest 20 sec b/t sets

A2. Strict Toe to Bar 12 x 3; rest 2 minutes b/t sets

For time:

400m Run

25 KBS 53lbs

250m Row

A1. Just BW

A2. Rx

WOD- used 35lb KB; 5:44

Fatigue-9

Stress-2

Leg-1

BW-141.2

HR-didn't take

48/52

2010-01-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

So I see 48 out of 52 days means I'm almost done with my personal goal for my diet. But since I have prohibited foods for the first 25 days of the trial (and chocolate is included in that) I will be extending it out further. Which is upsetting but can only help me in the long run. My cheat is going to be AWESOME and it includes a lot of chocolate! I want to apologize for not keeping this up the past couple days but Monday I came down with a 102 fever and it went down but has made everyday life very difficult for me. I was supposed to WOD on Monday but with a fever like that it wasn't happening. On Tuesday I attempted, but only got through the squats and the rest I was extremely sore so did a lot of ball rolling (it hurt bad) and then yesterday was running around getting all my stuff ready for the hospital. Yes ladies and gentleman, I'm finally here. I got admitted last night to start the trial and it a huge stress off my chest. The ball is rolling and no one's mess up can stop it because there is a timeline for EVERYTHING! I get out tomorrow I think so hopefully I can make up my gym days and still stay on my schedule(don't worry Colin I don't let anyone down especially when it comes to being a fighter) I'm still working too so it makes me sleepy early. Being in the hospital now though I'm catching all of you up to speed:)

http://www.cathletics.com/recipes/index.php?action=recipe&recipeID=53

http://winningedgesportspsychology.com/Gaining_a_Mental_Edge_pt2.php

http://robbwolf.com/?p=1138

All good stuff today, first is a recipe, second is a really good article on intensity ad mentality before WODs, and the third is just another sad day for the CF world. I wonder why all the good people end up leaving early. I wish more good people were here to make the world a better place and rid of all the scum bags.

Hopefully I'm not to crazy on this, they fed me a bunch of crap a couple hours ago and I've been quite loopy and sluggish too so if I miss words or things just might not make sense just try to figure out what I'm saying. Ok the only working out I've done was Tuesday and it was:

Front Squat 5,5,5 rest 180sec b/t sets

115,135,145

I was still running a fever and not feeling well so this was the best I could put up and I feel it was good numbers. I had more strength and a short metcon left on this day but hoping to make this up real soon especially sense I'm not sore anymore. Thanks Colin as always! Have a great day everyone!

44/52

2010-01-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

Man I'm tired. I didn't think sleeping on an uncomfortable couch would make me this sleepy. It never has before. I'm hoping to catch up on some sleep in the next few days because if I start the trial Wed I know I won't be getting any sleep then. Not to much to say today.

http://fit4younutrition.com/article24.html

Here is my WOD:

Hang Power Clean 5,5,5 rest 180sec b/t sets
+
Team Angie (one partner holds plank while the other works)
100 Pull-ups
100 Push-ups
100 Sit-ups
100 Squats

105,120,135
Time-15:37

On the HPC I should of went heavier, had another 10lbs or so in me but was good for the crap I ate yesterday. The team WOD was fun. My partner and I gamed it quite well and it felt like we flew through the workout. I'll tell you though, trying to do push-ups after holding a plank position sucks. Thanks Shelly:)

Fatigue-7
Stress-5
Leg-1
BW-no scale
HR-48

43/52

2010-01-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I know I didn't post yesterday, kind of had a meltdown. I woke up yesterday morning and put in a load of laundry and dishes and 20 minutes later I had a grey water explosion in my house and mostly my bathroom. Needless to say a day down, the plumber came out today along with the carpet (yes it flooded my room as well) people, and my massive cleaning skills it's almost all better. The carpet people can't finish until Tuesday so I'm stuck sleeping at a friends' house right now because I don't want to be breathing all that crap in. I think tomorrow I will go home to sleep on the couch. Anyways, I took 2 rest days because I wanted to get all that crap taken care of. I went to a Rose bowl party yesterday(had a blast!) and I also ruined my diet yesterday. Yep I did. I was stressed beyond my limit yesterday and had to vent with unhealthy food. I ate a cupcake and 3 tacos with the shells. To most of you no big deal but for me that was a big no no. Can't wait to see what Robb says about this one. Well I wish everyone the best and I'm off to have a good night with friends. Oh and UFC is on tonight people......go watch it and have drinks for me! NOW! GO!

41/52

2009-12-31T10:51:00.000-08:00

Felt good today when I woke up and hoping to get everything done early so I can take a nap before going out. I feel so old....hehe....can't even stay awake until midnight. It's going to be fun, I'm so excited. I won't waste a lot of time today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sw5ky-5zcg

This video is hilarious! Why hasn't anyone thought of this yet? Nice.

5 x 2 Box Squats

Alternating Tabata :

Push-ups

Abmat Sit-ups

115,135,155,175,185(1)

PU-10

SU-15

My goal on the squats were to go pretty heavy today. Wanted to see how my leg would feel. It felt good and I could of done 2 on 185 but you kind of need a spotter for these so I only did one. On Tabata push-ups I did 12 first round and knew I wouldn't be able to hold it so went to 10 and struggled through those but held it. Sit-ups were nice change of pace and held 15 every round.

Fatigue-3

Stress-1

Leg-1

BW-137.2

HR-48

40/52

2009-12-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well I woke up this morning and I had turtle neck. My traps are so sore. I had to go get a massage on my upper back just to make it through the day and the massage therapist was in shock too. That's not good. She loosened it a bit but it was definitely still sore when I left. So again I took one more rest day. I figured I could go and just do a bunch of stuff with my legs but it was rainy and yucky out so wasn't very motivated.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1948208,00.html?artId=1948208?contType=article?chn=sciHealth

Okay so talked to Colin today about my next 6 weeks. We are going to do a low intensity cycle focusing on strengthening my leg, strict pulling and pushing movements, and to dial in grip strength. I know it's going to drive me a bit insane because I just want to sweat and breathe hard but it will be perfect because with all the treatments and things going on it's going to have to be real flexible. Last cycle was medium-low intensity.

Don't have much else to say besides my mom got her tests results back and they still don't know what's wrong with her. It's been weeks and she just keeps getting worse. I pray they find something out.

Fatigue-5

Stress-2

Leg-1

BW 140.0

HR-48

39/52

2009-12-29T20:58:00.000-08:00

Oh rest days. I love them. My traps are really sore today so it's definitely needed. I hope everyone had a good day, mine was busy today. I'm going to wait one more day to talk about my programming because I got a super long email I have to send out tonight so this will be short. I did talk to my military doc today and he's going to push UCLA because they are being ridiculous, so he said I will be in some type of treatment next week. I really hope it isn't chemo but if I have to I have to.

http://www.westside-barbell.com/westside-certification/

This is so awesome! Certified through Westside, you can't get better than than. I just wanted to share this with everyone. Also didn't want to post the video because it's just double unders and those are boring to watch but Colin posted it on his gym site and there was a girl on the USA jump rope team did Rhiannon- AMRAP Double unders in 10min, yah she got 893. No big deal. She made it look so easy too and she said she could of got more if she wasn't already sore. You've got to be kidding me! I would love to see anyone even try to challenge it. Good luck. I wonder when I'm going to do something amazing like that, Geez. Oh one more thing, I want to take a second to recognize the women at CFV. You ladies are AMAZING! I've always been a strong beast and kinda fast metcon beast but you women are metcon beast! I'm so proud to get my butt kicked by you guys because it pushes me to go faster. I haven't had the opportunity of anyone to push me in about a year and I'm so happy to have that here. Jaala a 5:40 mile! Seriously! Guys can barely run that. Katie your 8:40 Helen right, amazing. I know someone has like a 1:46 500m row right?! 5:27 Annie, and everything else you women have done not to mention how great and respectful everyone is to each other. I wouldn't ask for anything else from this family. Thanks Colin, Huff, and Faith you have done an awesome job creating greatness, hopefully I inspire you to start cleaning 175lbs:)

Fatigue-5

Stress-4

Leg-2

BW-138.8

HR-47bpm (Colin it's always this low just to let you know)

38/52

2009-12-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

I don't think anything to eventful happened today, let me think............oh, talked to my doc at UCLA. Got a lot of useless info as of this point in time so won't waste your time but my CT of my chest results were back. Lungs still got nodules but they are still to small to measure (good news), it didn't spread anywhere else (also good news), and I guess the top of my liver showed up as well and he said there was one lesion there about 9mm (still small and again good news). People this is awesome! Thank you Robb I know the diet is helping and all the homeopathy crap I'm taking as well(thanks DAD!). Without those I think I would be pretty bad off right now. I'm still trying out new stuff because there is so much stuff that my father and I are finding and it seems the more we look, the better stuff we find so we keep trying the new stuff. Oh just so everyone knows this stuff is not harmful to the body it's all natural things and whatever your body doesn't need it just rids of. Oh and how can I forget the love of my life, God. All the prayers for me (thank you), he has been answering them, just a little. Now if it would just progress the other way, GONE! Ok I'm blabbing.

http://vimeo.com/8334280

Colin posted this video today and it was so ridiculous I had to as well. Really? A sub 3:00 C2B Fran. I'm still trying to break 3 on regular Fran. Crap. Granted there were some pull-ups I wouldn't of counted but even if he had to redo them he still would of broke 3. I love CF! Oh, Katie, one of the girls in my gym made her soon to be mother-in-law (congrats guys!) a CF shirt for Christmas that said "I'd rather clean a bar then clean the house" genius. I always love new slogans:) My WOD:

"DT"

5 Rounds:

12 Deadlift 105lbs

9 Hang power cleans

6 Push Jerks

Time- 10:53

This workout hurts sooooooooooo bad and weight is starting to feel real heavy to me now. I didn't pr on this, not even close but still kicked the crap out of it. I'm happy with this time for what's going on. Well Colin and I finally decided on how to plan out my cycles from now on. I'll talk about it tomorrow because I'm getting a bit long. Stay tuned superstars!

Fatigue-4

Stress-4

Leg-3

BW- 138.2 (oh yes gaining, good news)

37/52

2009-12-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

Well another long weekend down. I wish it could be longer because I get so worn down going to work. I started thinking about this whole cancer thing and I've gotten to the point where I almost wish I could stay home and not work. I guess everyone wants that huh? Ha! I've been thinking about going home and being with family and what I could do there if I got out. I don't know just talking I guess. I get so tired of the military sometimes but I also don't know what I'd do without it.

I finally talked to one of my girlfriends, Christy today. It was so relieving and made me feel happy. Christy has become one of my really good friends and I had to reassure her of this because she has been hesitant to talk with me with everything going on. Christy, I hope you keep rocking in school, don't loose focus and I love you with a huge piece of my heart:)

http://paleobrands.com/2009/12/20/socal-margarita/

http://paleobrands.com/2009/12/25/fish-omega-3/

I guess they didn't screw up my time on the 4th WOD from the Games so the final outcome isn't that big of a deal so I just emailed HQ to give them a heads up.

Ok, I'm getting long sorry. Just wanted to say that church was awesome as always. The pastor always reassures me that the Lord is here and keeps me heading in the right direction.

My WOD:

1 Mile Run

Time- 7:10

This was 42 seconds behind my pr. I knew I wouldn't hit it but was shooting for right under 7 minutes. I disappointed myself again but of course there are always excuses I can throw in. For one, it was to cold for me to run and the wind blew me around a bit. Also, my leg was still really sore. I should of took one more rest day. I ended up hurting myself a bit. I thought my leg was fine on the run but once I got up from stretching I realized the feeling I was feeling when I was running wasn't the lactic acid it was my leg telling my to slow down or even stop. So needless to say it's swollen a little bit and sore of course. I want to do this again around March when it's a bit warmer I think I will do quite well.

Fatigue-2

Stress-2

Leg-3

BW-136.6

36/52

2009-12-26T20:51:00.000-08:00

Well I realized the other day my diet will have to be stretched a bit further than my expected goal. The trial is requiring me to not eat certain things for the week prior to starting until day 26. That's about an extra 20 days or so that I will have to wait until I can eat my delicious chocolate ice cream with reese peanut butter cups. Sounds so good. I will wait patiently.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/CrossFitJournal_LouieSimmons_ProgrammingPRE.mov

This video is genius! I can't wait to go to this cert. I'm going to learn sooooooo much. I wanted to post the whole video but since members pay to view the CFJournal I don't think by law I'm allowed to. Sorry!

Another thing I found out today......I actually did better in the Games than expected. I knew my time had gotten written down wrong but they told us we weren't allowed to second guess our judge their word was God so I left it as is. My time accidently got swapped with another girl in my heat on the third event. Now it only brings me up 2 spots but it also knocks her down 2 spots and brings 2 other women up. I think they did it on event 4 as well so I will wait to see, if this is the case, guess what people.....I got cut when I wasn't supposed to which means I had a possibility to move up over 20 spots because I was going to kick the crap out of that last WOD on day 1. I will keep you updated.

I didn't workout today because the gym is still closed but I will be in tomorrow oh and my leg didn't swell. It's definitely sore but not big and fat. This is good news for once:)

Fatigue-3

Stress-1

Leg-2

BW-136.6

35/52

2009-12-25T11:28:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Sv0DniGmI&feature=related

http://70sbig.com/?p=972

34/52

2009-12-24T11:26:00.000-08:00

I wanted to upload this because it's disgusting looking and I got to keep everyone interested you know. This has grown in only 2 weeks. Man I really hope this medication works or I'm going to have a massive lump in my leg. Yuck!

Merry Christmas Eve! I don't want to write to much because I know there is a lot to read on my blog so I just want to talk about my WOD today.

40 Wall ball 14lb

"12 Days of Crossfit"

100m run

2 SDLHP

3 Thrusters

4 Pull-ups

5 Burpees

6 Box Jumps

7 Push-ups

8 KBS

9 Wall ball

10 Sit-ups

11 Jumping Squats

12 Double Unders

Time-24:41

The way this WOD worked was just like the song i.e, 100m run, 2 SDLHP, 100m run, 3 Thrusters, 2 SDLHP, 100m run, 4 Pull-ups, 3 Thrusters, 2 SDLHP etc.... So my original workout for today was going to be 30 Muscle-ups for time that's why I did the wall ball in the beginning but when I started I just couldn't warm-up. It was so cold today and if you ain't warm for MU you can't do them so I stopped and decided to do the gym WOD today and it was so much fun. The weight was 65lbs for sumos and thrusters, 14lb for WB. I used a PVC and a 6lb (because I did 40 WB like 30min before) My leg is going to hate me but I figured since the gym was closed down for the next 2 days and I don't have to work, I can just baby it. Time to get this volume put in for my leg. I'm sure Colin won't be to happy but let's just wait to see how my leg reacts to it. Everything else was rx'd.

Fatigue-4

Stress-2

Leg-2

BW-136.2

33/52

2009-12-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to post an article today because I don't feel like it. Sorry. Actually I don't want to take the time to search for one because I was SO busy today and I'm finally sitting down to write my blog and it's 9:30. I'm really excited about x-mas eve tomorrow. My mom sent me gifts that she wrapped and it brought happy tears to my eyes. To open a gift is AWESOME! Thanks mom:)

I went to UCLA and was there all day. I got my CT scan done this morning and seen the dermatologist in the afternoon. I got a ton of questions answered so things are looking good so far, well besides the cancer spreading. The derm said they got my blood work back and they are wanting to get me into the trial quick because my blood count is up which means it's spreading. Good thing I already knew that from the results of the last test I got.

On to my WOD:

60 Box Jumps 20"

"Randy"

75 Power Snatches 55lbs

Time-5:15

I was going to do a max deadlift before this WOD but the gym was doing dodgeball today and you definitely can't do a workout when the adults come out and play like we do so did a quick WOD and got out of the way. Of course I always want to go faster, I wanted sub 5 but still very happy with this time. The box jumps I just did the best I could with them. I signed up for a spectator spot at the sectionals....I'm so excited to go cheer everyone on. On to tomorrow!

Fatigue-5

Stress-3

Leg-2

BW-136.8

32/52

2009-12-22T17:27:00.000-08:00

Oh man, 20 days left and I'm eating an ice cream. I know I'm not supposed to for a very long time but this will be a goal to me and I deserve a cheat after 52 days of hell I'm going through. I hate being tired all the time. It gets old quick. I just want to be normal again. For those of you that know me know that I don't have patience for these kinds of things.

http://www.fit4younutrition.com/article6.html

Well I got some news today and overall seemed like good news. Now take with a grain of salt because I was talking to my nurse and not the Doc so I think there might be errors but whatever. My MRI of my brain, same as before. The CT scan of abdomen and pelvis came back and it didn't spread to any of my digestive system, kidneys, or pancreas. This is great news! The only bad news is the big tumor in my liver that was 2.8cm is now 3.8cm, that's about 1 3/4" big. She also said I have more new lesions in my liver (this is what I don't believe) and my leg she couldn't really say if it was Melanoma but it def looks like it........it's huge. So I didn't stop it completely but I slowed it down.....A LOT! That's better than nothing because at the rate things were going I would of been dead in about 3-4 months. Just keep praying everyone I will get through this. I'm getting admitted first week of Jan to start my trial so got less than 2 weeks right now.

Last thing, I was tired again so came home and took a nap, set my alarm to go workout but I needed more so I slept longer. I didn't go but I thought about it and this works out for the better because the gym is closed Fri so I can go tomorrow and Thurs then rest days.

Fatigue-6

Stress-4

Leg-1

BW-136.6

31/52

2009-12-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Another beautiful day in Cali. I was really tired today, probably because I didn't go to bed until 1. Tony and I stayed up watching a movie and talking about all kinds of things. He's awesome! I don't know what I would do without him. I hope I'm as good of a friend to him as he is to me. I did manage to sneak in 2 short naps today. I feel better but now I'm tired again so off to bed soon.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20427383.700-biological-passport-to-catch-sports-cheats.html

On to my WOD:

"Helen"

3 rounds:

400m Run

21 KBS 35lbs

12 Pull-ups

20 Pistols

Time-8:55

I was very happy with my time today on this WOD. My goal was to just break 9minutes and I did! This isn't a pr but wasn't expecting it to be. My KBS and pull-ups were same flow as last time, my run was just slower which of course was expected with my leg and no running for 3 months. Lungs were hurting of course but this WOD just does that to you. Pistols were fine. I couldn't hold up my right leg 100% and don't know if I'll ever be able to but I will continue to try. I wonder what I want to do tomorrow:)

Fatigue-6

Stress-3

Leg-2

BW-136.6

30/52

2009-12-20T19:51:00.000-08:00

Well I didn't go to bed until about midnight last night so decided to not set my alarm for the gym and wake up when I wake up because I know I need the sleep. I finally rolled out of bed around 9 which was to late for the gym and got up and got ready and had to do laundry and iron before church but was still tired. I didn't go to church either and felt so guilty but I needed to relax had no energy. Well not a lot to pass today besides:

http://startingstrength.com/articles/squat_rippetoe.pdf

http://paleobrands.com/

Both good of course. Oh Rip is a genius so you can never go wrong and the second one is the finally paleo brands site. This is going to be a good thing to check up on people. I'm just glad it's up. I hope everyone had a good weekend, well rested too. This week is Christmas and I'm so excited. Oh and Troy, finally watched Kat Williams.....hilarious! Thank you!

Fatigue-1

Stress-1

Leg-1

BW-135.8

29/52

2009-12-19T22:08:00.001-08:00

No post yesterday was to busy and tired. Went to UCLA and got tests, took a nap, then went to my roommates' x-mas party. No WOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBUP3NGYAXU&feature=related

This is crazy! Casey Burgener with 484lb C&J! No big deal, I can do that with my pinky. Today was another busy day but fun and relaxing. Not a lot to say. I did however finally finish my profile last night for match.com. I got 9 people interested today and I only picked one to follow up with. He seems interesting and fun. We are meeting up tomorrow. Anyways, on to my WOD:

3 x 5 Front Squats

"Grace"

30 Clean and Jerks 95lbs

FS-45,95,115

Time: 2:56

My legs were still sore from the 50 squats I did but I got to start establishing my legs or they will never get back to where they were so it's my goal to do some type of squatting 3 times a week as long as my leg is fine. If not well then I'll stop. The front squats felt strong today and wanted to go heavier but figured this was good enough. It's about 57% of previous 1RM. For Grace I was disappointed of course but Colin always reminds me that I'm not 100% so I can't expect 100%. My previous pr was this same time but with 100lbs. 95 actually felt heavy but I can throw it around fine and I haven't done any consistent let alone any serious metcon in 3 months so I'll take a sub 3. Great meeting tonight at the gym....glad things are changing the way they are. It's going to really help improve everything. Many people aren't happy but no one is with change and once it's established it will just be another normal thing in your life. I promise to everyone that once this gets up and running that you will see better improvements with your performance but a lot faster. Now I really don't ever want to have to leave:)

Fatigue-2

Stress-1

Leg-3

BW-136.6

27/52

2009-12-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

A ton of info today so no extra article, just me blabbing. First of all I can't believe Troy was the only one that helped me out with getting my immune system up by laughter. Geez, great support guys. Thanks Troy your awesome! Next, today has been the best day I've had since I've been miserable. Nothing but a huge smile on my face for the second half of the day and a ton of energy. Work was a bit boring besides all the holiday decorating that was going on for the x-mas party we had tonight.

Got a call from my doc.....I'm approved for the trial. Thank you everyone for the prayers. I'm going down to UCLA for tests they need(Urine, Lab kit, liver enzyme, EKG). I also have to see a dermatologist before the trial as well as get another CT Scan of my chest. Yah SD missed that part. Figures huh, screwed up again. My chest is the one test I was waiting on too, it's the one with my liver and lungs, great, more waiting. I should hopefully be done testing by next week. The enzyme test takes 10 days for results so I'm going to push to get admitted the first week of Jan for this because I'm supposed to be flying to Ohio the following week for a cert at Westside. One more thing about the trial, a bad side effect they didn't tell me about but it was in my paperwork. I asked why do I need to see a derm and the answer was "one of the possible side effects is squamous cell carcinoma" For those of you that don't know it's another type of deadly skin cancer. Not as extreme but still bad. I wasn't happy about this of course but what options do I have. Just got to be extremely careful now with everything in life.

On to the gym. I decided to to Diane today. I wanted to use bands on the HSPU instead of an abmat because I wanted to get the full depth so I set up my bar and the bands. I decided to give one more go at my always failed attempts at an rx'd HSPU. Guess what?! Oh yes ladies and gentlemen I did one. I was amazed! 1yr and 10 months of doing CF and I finally got my first HSPU. It's over ladies. I'm officially a force to not mess with. Not only did I get one but I got 24 before I had to start kipping to get out of it. Now it took me forever and technically it still wasn't rx'd because I kipped on the rest of the 21 but I did them.....ALL. The deadlifts felt like cake, cranked them out with no stops. All the time was spent on the HSPU and I'm proud of it. First time I did 30MU for time it took me 24min and I could probably more than half that now. Anyways:

50 squats (not fast but continuous)

"Diane"

21,15,9

Deadlift 150lbs

Handstand Push-ups

Time-30:15

Fatigue-4

Stress-1

Leg-1

BW-136.6 w/pj's

Last thing, we had an x-mas party at work tonight and Santa came for the kids. It was so cute and great to see all the smiling faces. Then I came home and turned the TV on and what's on....oh yes.....Pinks All Out! For those of you that know me really well this is my favorite show and this was the best one I've seen so far. Not only did they have the normal two lanes they had 4 strips and they were running all 4! Then they picked 64 cars too. Oh it was sick. I needed a day like today, thank you Lord. Got to sleep now:)

Half Way!

2009-12-16T20:36:00.000-08:00

I was on my way home today and had to stop about 45minutes from reaching home to go to the bathroom. I decided to get gas as well. As I was pumping I looked over and seen this from a far. What caught my eye was the word hardcore. I thought it was a tattoo shop at first. I sat and tried to make out the second word and it said pilates. I couldn't help but laugh and had to take the pic to show all of you. Hardcore Pilates......Is that even possible? I would like to see one of those "hardcore pilates women" come to my gym and clean even 95lbs or even do a couple pull-ups and then I'll call them hardcore. It was a nice chuckle for the end of the drive.

Well today is the halfway mark through my goal on the veggie for breakfast diet. I'll tell you what, I hope it's helping because I feel like I'm starting to drag. I need more carbs. I'm to tired, dragging all day, I feel miserable all the time, and my recovery from WODs are horrible oh and it sucks! I decided to reward my halfway point with a 1/4 of a Paleo treat. That's it. I knew I couldn't eat anymore than that. It was so good but really sweet too.

http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.com/2009/02/sugar-hydrogen-bacteria-and.html

Robb brought up a good point about stimulating my immune system. Laughter. I know this is true but he wants me to focus on it more. I need help. Take a minute and list some movies, stand-up comedians, TV shows that will make you laugh until you pee. I'm going to make this another goal of mine. Watching as many things as I can to make me laugh. Robb also talked to another Naturopath doc and he said we are nailed with what we are doing as well as impressed. It's got to be helping! Also talked with Colin today and the next 2 weeks are going to be nothing but benchmark WODs (that I'm able to do of course) so we can see where I'm at. On to that:

Annie

50,40,30,20,10

Double Unders

Abmat Sit-ups

Max reps dead hang pull-ups (straight legs whole time)

Time-5:10 pr

PU-9

I was happy with the pr but I know I can break 5 minutes on this. I had some issues with the rope in the start of it (hitting other people as well as equipment) before I finally turned a different direction and they do there abmat sit-ups different from what I do so it took until 30 reps to get into my speed of it. I have found that both ways are difficult and work different muscles. I will be implementing both in my WODs from now on! The pull-ups, I was shooting for 10 and I could of got it with bending of my legs but I wanted to on 8 and real bad on 9 so I stopped there.

Fatigue-6

Stress-3

Leg-1

BW-136.6

Another Rest Day!

2009-12-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

Made it down to SD fine and wanted to get my blog done early because it will be late and I will be sleepy by the time I get back from the hospital. Last appt is at 9:00pm. I went and talked to my doc about the lump being back in my leg and guess what he said: "It's looks like Melanoma". Why did that statement not surprise or upset me? Probably because I hear it all the time and I don't care anymore because I will beat it whether it wants me to or not. If it's still spreading I will just have to change what I'm doing now. There are other things that I can do (tweaking the diet again, other supplements, different approaches on life, etc...) to try and make it stop. I am not scared to tangle with the devil on this one, he messed with the wrong chica.

http://sageolylifting.blogspot.com/

That's right guys......Sage has started a blog and she is going to talk about nothing but oly lifting. If you want to learn about it she is definitely a great person to learn from. Stay tuned for the info.

Well finally talked with Colin and he wants me to start posting some extra things on my blog so you can just ignore it....it's for him. I told him to expand out our current 6 weeks to 8 weeks until we get results and some more info, before we focus on something else. I got to set some goals out as well for what to train on so we can start the next 6 weeks. Well off to relax for a couple minutes.

Fatigue-4

Stress-2

Leg-1

BW-136.2 (with pj's on)

Rest Day

2009-12-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

Well I start my new cycle of training today but Colin hasn't emailed me back so hopefully everything is ok. I'm excited for him, he's always so careful with things which is a good thing but he's going to take the leap and to try and qualify for the Games next year. I'm happy because we will have at least one of every type of athlete going to Regionals to compete for those spots. Hopefully we have more than just one....would like to see at least 10.

http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.com/2009/04/cordain-on-saturated-fat.html

Found a good blog. Read up people, get your knowledge on. Well I had a rest day today because I had to finish my brakes. I ended up having to take them to the dealer to get turned, wasn't happy about that and then had to borrow a torque wrench because my spindle nut needed 295 ft lb. Crap! Well I'll quit boring you with my brake talk just got a bit aggravated with it. I'm off to SD bright and early tomorrow to get my scans done. Hopefully this is the beginning of a good news streak and not a continuation of the bad but regardless of what the outcome is I know there is a reason behind it so it's fine:)

42/42; 23/52

2009-12-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

I want to make this short because I'm running behind today. My 1hr brake job turned into 3 1/2 and still not done. Going to have to finish it tomorrow before my trip down to SD. Work is going to just have to give me a break on this one. I officially hate Ford at this moment. They decided to put a one time use spindle nut on the rotor and you don't realize it until you take it off and no one around of course carries it but Pep Boys and then they only have one. I got to drive to the other one tomorrow and hopefully get my rotor's turned too because the other place was to much of an idiot to remove a snap ring to take the bearings out to do it. Or Just to lazy which wouldn't surprise me either. Enough about my wrench head talk. Had a great service today at church, learned a lot more than I usually do which was very interesting. Now my WOD:

Pull-up Ladder (1 pull-up first minute, 2 pull-ups second minute, etc....)(chin must break vertical plane)

rest 3 minutes

Maintaining push-ups on the minute for 10 minutes

11 pull-ups

rx'd push-ups

*Foul- if you fail to maintain push-ups for 10 minutes, stop and complete a total of 5 minutes of handstand holds against the wall, stopping the clock when you come off the wall to rest)

This was tricky for me. I know I really suck at push-ups so I didn't want to do like 20 and then fail every minute trying to maintain 20 push-ups every minute to 10. I gamed it and did 11. I wished I would of went to 13. I think that would of been perfect. By round 10 I was about 45sec in before I finished so I think 13 would of been close but I have been doing push-ups more than I normally do so hopefully I will get better and can shoot for 20. Great WOD, thanks Colin!

41/42; 22/52

2009-12-12T20:48:00.000-08:00

It's amazing what sleep will do for you. I was so exhausted and sore from the week that I crashed out at about 9:30 last night and slept for 11 hrs. I woke up and felt like a rockstar. I went to the gym and crushed everything I had to do today and wanted to do more but had things to do today. Won't talk a lot today.....in the middle of the UFC fight and way to distracted to talk to myself right now! Hehe.

http://www.CrossfitVentura.com/crossfit_ventura/2009/12/impressed.html

This is one of the guys in my gym. I don't usually post up other CF websites but this is my gym and there was an amazing feat done 2 days ago. Craig, rock on dude!

My WOD:

A. Hang power clean- 2,2,2,2,2 rest 180sec b/t sets (go 2.5-5lbs pr from day 11)

B. Shoulder Press 65% of 1RM 2 x 10 rest 40sec b/t sets (no whipping of hip, work on explosive on concentric)

C. GHD Raises 12-16 x 3 rest 90sec b/t sets (play with hand placement)

A.-108, 123, 133, 138, 143

B. Rx'd at 78lbs

C. Rx'd 16 reps with hands in front, behind head, both

The hang power cleans felt really strong today and wanted to go for 148 but that would of been over 5 lb pr. Last was 140 on 3 position power cleans. I used a women's bar because it slipped the last time plus I had to do the shoulder presses. I accidently started 10lbs heavier but it worked out fine. The SP started to get hard around set 9. Was really focusing on exploding so it helped. I did move my hip either. The raises were fine just played with hand placement and speed on each round. All in all good day! Ok main event is on got to go:)

40/42; 21/52

2009-12-11T20:49:00.000-08:00

I decided I needed another rest day. It only took me until I drove to the gym, warmed up and did the first thing in my WOD to realize that. My fast twitch muscles are in pain. My arms are sore which is fine but the muscles I needed to use today was painful when I lifted so I knew it wouldn't of done my body any good to keep going. I will attempt it tomorrow.

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/12/skill-standards-for-building-strong-useful-adaptable-athletes/

Another good article. My appt for my scans are on Tuesday.....hopefully I get to keep it and they don't cancel it on me because I really want to know the results. As far as how I'm feeling, tired as always but no pain. I know I don't usually talk about my love life but decided I want to tonight. I've decided to start dating again. Men seem to move on so quickly. I left VA almost 2 months ago and haven't been able to date because of the guy I loved and everything I'm going through but I think I would like to spread my wings on this one. It would be nice to have someone sweet around. Rudy was dating a week after I left so 8 weeks is plenty of time. I got turned on to match.com and eharmony.com. I've been browsing the 2 to see which is better and then I will sign up for one. My roommate is on eharmony and a woman in my gym met her hubby on match. I have always been real against it because I don't understand why people can't just go out and meet others but.....where? The bar? No thanks. My gym? No eligible ones I'm interested in (sorry guys). I'm willing to try out something new. This whole cancer thing has really put a new perspective on things and you don't realize how much people out in the world take advantage of what they have. I don't even take one single day for granted anymore. Any moment I get with my dogs is the happiest moment in my day. You just got to live one day at a time and really appreciate what you got and what others do for you. Oh and be as happy and nice as you can because it actually causes less stress. Why snob your nose at someone for no reason? Pointless. Just say hi, thanks, or even give a hug:-)

39/42; 20/52

2009-12-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

I just realized I'm at the end of my first 6 weeks of programming. To bad I wasn't healthy because we'd be moving on to something else but being in the condition of what's going on that's not going to happen. I was so excited to see the 2010 Games site come out today. They are offering $25,000 to first place this year. I knew it. Man I wish I was better to compete that is a nice chunk of change to have. They are only taking 4 people from my region this year and considering I can think of about 6 females in this region that competed in the Games last year.....it's going to be a blood bath for those spots especially when there are going to be 80 new people fed in from the 4 sectionals. I'm jealous.

Anyways, today is a rest day for me so decided to post early and be short since I've wrote a lot the past few days. I got message from someone on Facebook today that said "Nice scar, karma is a b%@ch." I didn't recognize the person and I don't really care. I thought about it and I must say I wasn't the best person growing into who I am today but have been forgiven and have left my past behind when I decided to ask God to be in my life. I basically messaged her back and told her the same thing and apologized for hurting her. Then told her happy holidays. Maybe killing with kindness will help but I have a feeling it will just make her more immature. Sad to see people out there like that. I figured this would happen once I became public about my situation but it's more about helping others now and being inspiration to everyone that they can do better than just "average" or "ok". Have a good day everyone:)

38/42; 19/52

2009-12-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

I woke up today.......SORE! My whole upper body is definitely in recovery mode, working on repairing those muscles that I tore the crap out of the last 2 days. It figures I would have another WOD today that requires your upper body to work too. No worries though I really enjoy it.

7 more days and I'm halfway through my delicious veggies for breakfast diet. I can't wait! I'm excited to see what these scans say and so is Robb. A bit nervous too though because if nothing is working I don't think I want to hear anymore bad news. I'm still feeling good though so that should stand for something.

http://robbwolf.com/?p=1028

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNjXtFi3dUQ

Both of these are good! Read and watch. The first is informational and is basically how I'm eating but I am eating carbs. This will lay it out so I don't have to have suuuuupppppper long posts everyday. Everyone would be bored then. The second thing is a video that Sage B. had posted on her Facebook and it was hilarious so had to post it so everyone could laugh too. Got to love us redheads, we sure are a bit crazy hehe.

On to my WOD:

"Rhiannon"

Max double unders in 10 minutes

#-609

This was really hard. My arms were so sore as is and to have them tense the whole time for this was ridiculous. I even shortened my rope so I didn't have to spin as much weight. I'd like to try this fresh once to see how I do but all in all was satisfied with this number.

Oh yah, I'll try to make this quick because I'm getting to be long. I want everyone to understand that even though the military screwed up, my doctor and case manager are taking excellent care of me. My doctor called me at 8pm tonight and was still at work working on my case because he's leaving for a few days and wants to make sure my case manager can handle things while he's gone. My case manager spent 4 hrs working my case today. I'm not there only patient trust me. They have a ton. They are doing everything they possibly can to make this as speedy, painless, and correctly done as it can be. I want to reiterate..... Melanoma has NO CURE! I'm not just another patient that has a typical cancer that they can just hook me up with chemo and radiation and I'll be all better. If that was the case I would of started that 2 months ago. This is serious and we are doing everything we can to make sure we are taking out the extra time that is being wasted. This has to be done right or I will miss my chance. I just hope everyone knows that I'm not mad at what has happened and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I'm looking at the future because there is no point on focusing on what did happen or what could have been because it didn't happen that way. It happened the way it did for a reason and I have no worries.

37/42; 18/52

2009-12-08T20:59:00.000-08:00

Ok another update. Talked with the UCLA doc again and they will need scans again so I got to get ahold of my Oncologist at San Diego again and I will be down there next week. No exceptions. I'll probably be taking 3 days off work or so for the biopsy, MRI, and CT scans but hopefully I'll know more tomorrow. The swelling in my leg looks gone so that's awesome but I've been noticing my scar is starting to look a bit odd where that knot was in my leg and it's been itching. I'm going to tell the doc about that too because compared to the rest of the scar it feels like the knot is back but pretty sure it's just scar tissue.

My picture made it on to the Crossfit Journal article that came out today. Pretty excited, I look all dirty, HA! Also, been getting some good feedback on the blog and I appreciate it. Glad I can keep everyone updated as well as make you smarter. I love helping people. I got an email from a guy that I talk to on Facebook today while I was driving to the gym(yes I'm a texter and drive). We've had some good conversations and I just want to write what motivational speech he sent to me because I was all teared up before I could finish(he read my blog today):

"Anyway, I know you already know this, but I just want to tell you that YOU WILL BEAT the Stage 4 Melanoma. Keep up the good work. You know that is not going to be easy......so you need to fight harder, and when you'll find yourself in a weak and sad moment, remind yourself how strong you are and how many ppl are cheering for you!"

Thank you Cristiano you truly touched me with that and I wish you the best:)

http://www.citizensreport.org/2009/12/08/new-concussion-policy-for-nfl/

K post is getting long so let me wrap up with my WOD:

"DB C2B Lynne"

5 rounds:

Max Reps DB Bench Press (I choose weight)

Max Reps C2B Pull-ups

Rest 5min b/t rounds

1-28,10

2-23,11

3-20,9

4-20,8

5-19,10

#25 DB

This was hard! I enjoyed it though as always. I really wanted to get the most I could out of the bench press because this is weaker for me than pull-ups. I went as hard as I could and picked #25 because it's not to heavy and not to light. The chest to bar focus was getting my butterfly back. For some reason I've been having an extremely difficult time getting this back but of course I nailed it on the last round but was spent by this time. I've been doing enough C2B that I shouldn't loose it again.

Just Thinking

2009-12-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

I was thinking yesterday and today and just wanted to say a few things. It's the end of the year everyone is enjoying family, friends, egg nog, and delicious christmas cookies. I wish I could enjoy those things. It's things that only happen this time of year, bummer. I hope no one takes advantage of the holidays. To have people you love and that love you are a blessing, oh and my mom's christmas cookies are the best. We used to make them growing up. I miss those days sometimes.
I wanted to take a minute and look back on my year of 2009. I realized it has been the best, most accomplished, and worst year for me. I don't remember what my New Year resolutions were but I can only imagine that they weren't any of the bad stuff. I have:

-Went through the hardest enlisted military school there is and graduated to become one of 38 in my job today
-Have completed more college (31 semester hours) in 4 months than any civilian ever has
-Had to deal with the most drama at work this year (crazy army wives, someone telling me the want to hurt themselves)
-Quit drinking
-Competed in the 2009 CF Games
-Lost 12lbs which put me at 17% BF
-got in the best shape of my life
-ate better than 99.9% of the world
-got arrested for drunk in public
-broke into my apartment by throwing a grill through my window (from one above)
-Met the love of my life that I can't ever be with because he's an idiot (no offense Rudy)
-became a very knowledgeable trainer and have helped many
-found the best people at my new awesome CF gym
-got diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma which required loss of tissue and 16 lymph nodes in my right groin, no feeling left, and my Sartorius muscle moved to a different location. Was considered disease free after this
-my grandfather passed away
-my cousin got out of jail( I love you Shauna)
-my other cousin put in jail and on trial for murder
-my brother turned 21 and is official to gamble his heart away
-voluntered helping numerous families with entertainment for their kids
-diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma (going to beat this too)
-got my first Muscle-up, 175lb clean, 150lb snatch, 43 pull-ups, 12.1sec 100m sprint, 3:14 Fran(no butt ball), did Elizabeth rx'd for first time, 160lb thruster, 205 front squat, 18:56 Filthy 50, 87 unbroken double unders, and tired of typing here

I must say this has been an amazing and upsetting year for me. I don't think there are to many people that can top this. I know God is setting me up for something incredible. To go through this much there is a plan waiting for me. I can't wait to figure it out. I really hope everyone enjoys this holiday season to the best of their ability because you deserve it. All anyone needs is love. :)

36/42; 17/52

2009-12-08T09:36:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the delayed post. It's hard to do when your power goes out for about 5 hours at night. I have a lot to write today so I will do 2 maybe 3 posts.

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-nutrition30-2009nov30,0,852160.story

This article isn't like "Oh my Gosh" but it's a little interesting. I got a great call from the doc at UCLA. Not really but was trying to get you excited for a second. I was supposed to be going down there for an appointment on Thursday about results and the trial and etc....but now it's canceled. I guess the rest of the tissue that was sent over has no more Melanoma cells in it. Do you know what that means? Yep, I got to go get another liver biopsy done. I thought I was in the clear but now I'm not and we just wasted another week for this and probabaly 2 by the time I actually get it done, results are sent and the test is done again. I originally was going to go to UCLA for this but now I think I might go back down to San Diego because I think I will have to be getting scans done again. I will find out as soon as I can about that. This is a bummer. I actually just started crying at work and I don't know why. Probably because I feel helpless in all of this. Usually when I get aggrivated with someone I will just take whatever it is they are doing and do it myself because I know it will be done quickly and correctly. On this I can't though and I think the pressure of it all just caught up with me. I told my master chief what's going on and he actually gave me a hug. It was nice considering all I work with are dudes besides one other female......kinda hard to have that girly support here.
On to my WOD from yesterday:

A1. Deadlift 5,5,5 rest 120sec b/t sets (no bouncing and only go up 5lb pr from day 18)
A2. True eccentric HSPU 6,6,6 rest 120 sec b/t sets
B1. KBS 1.5pd 15-18 x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets
B2. Anchored sit-ups 35 x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets

A1- 205, 220, 230
A2- HARD;rx'd; trainer pushed down on feet as I resisted all the way to ground
B1- 18 x 3 unbroken
B2- rx'd unbroken

230lbs felt heavy compared to the last time I pulled 225 but I figured that's from having the HSPU involved with it. I think I have finally learned how to DL. We will see once I can max out. The HSPU (thanks Colin:)) were really tough. I resisted really well on the first rep and sometimes the second, but it all went to crap after that. I tried and that's what mattered. The KBS were fine even though the combo with the sit-ups had a nice twist to it on the stomach and back. Sit-ups were easy but also been doing those forever.

35/42; 16/52

2009-12-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

I think we should mandate 3 day weekends. I could get a lot done with 3 days off. Plus to only have 4 days at work would be awesome! I had a good rest day today. Had a lot of things I wanted to do and got about 3/4 way done so I'll just do little pieces throughout the week. I'm really craving some sushi so I asked Robb if it would be cool to eat as long as I limit the rice intake. Still waiting on a response so I'll go tomorrow night if he says it's ok.

I went to church this morning, again another awesome service.

http://www.nacactfca.org/articles/Hart-eng.htm

Really good article on the 400m run. A must read for all the trainers and crossfitters.

34/42; 15/52

2009-12-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

I had an excellent day today...well for me. I was awake all day up until now. I'm sleepy. I got to hang out with my girlfriend Karla which I haven't seen since I was in San Diego about a year and a half ago. She came over and hung out while I finished some stuff, then we went to the movies, and then dinner. I love friends especially old ones because you know they will always be there for you and vice versa.

http://www.livescience.com/history/080806-human-evolution-olympics.html

So today was the day of the Lumberjack 20. My gym participated in this and it was an honor to watch(wished I could of done it but not ready yet) and cheer everyone on as they pushed their heart and soul through this workout remembering our fallen soldiers from Fort Hood last month. My opinion on the whole thing, I think it's disgusting that someone like that made it into the military and was in for as long as he was. I wished I could of been there to give him my Sparta kick and then take his gun and shoot him with it. How dare them.

Anyways, on to my WOD:

A1. High bar back squat @ 40x2; 4-6x4; rest 120sec b/t sets

A2. Strict Supinated Pull-ups @ 30x1; 3-5x4; rest 120sec b/t sets (add weight if complete 5)

3 Rounds:

Run 400m @ 80%

Row 500m @ 80%

rest 2 minutes b/t rounds

A1. DNF

A2. BW, 5, 10, 15

4:02, 4:03, 3:59

I was going to do the back squats but since all the bars were being used today I had to skip it which is probably better with my leg sill being a bit swollen even though today it almost looked normal again so I figure a couple more days. The pull-ups were hard with the weight, I only got 4 at 15lbs. On the metcon (thanks Colin even 80% is nice) I ran faster than I wanted but it felt like 80% to me. So unless I got faster compared to before I was running about 95%. Row was perfect though because I could just watch the screen the whole time. Goal was 2:00-2:02 pace. Kept it for the most part. On to Sunday!

33/42; 14/52

2009-12-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

Well called UCLA today and got an appointment scheduled for Thursday. Hopefully there is good news. I got 50% that I'll have the protein they are looking for, then 66% chance that I'll get put on the drug, and then finally a 70% chance I will respond to it. You know what I don't get? How inhumane clinical trials are. It's like well you don't qualify so, sorry there is nothing we can do oh but by the way you still need to take this placebo pill and let us monitor you and see what your outcome will be without any help. Oh man that would be horrible to hear. Hopefully my plan is staying here and still making change in others by touching their life in some way. If not, well then that's not the plan set out for me. Anyways, leg is still swollen. Starting to wonder if I have lymphedema. Great just another thing to add to the list.

http://startingstrength.com/articles/incremental_increases_rippetoe.pdf

On to my WOD:

Power Snatch 3,3,3,1,1,1 rest 180sec b/t sets

Dip Squat 5,5,5,5 rest 180sec b/t sets

3 Rounds:

15 GHD Sit-ups @ 2020; rest 60sec

15 Back Ext @ 2020; rest 60 sec (use 10-20lb DB)

80,95,105,115,DNF,DNF

140,185,205,235

Rx'd w/15lb DB

The snatches actually felt strong today but I felt it pulling on my leg at 115 so I just stopped. I probably have one of the lowest starting positions for the snatch so my legs really take it on this one. The dip squats were great. My focus was straight torso the whole time and I was popping it a bit at the top. This was more painful to my bones then it actually was hard but I enjoyed it. Last was GHD and back ext. Figured 15lb DB was good and man was it. My back and butt were on fire! Satisfied with another day at CFV. Thanks Colin:)

32/42; 13/52

2009-12-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

Not to much to say today I don't think. Work is boring because my leg is still swollen and don't want to make it worse so I sit at my desk all day and do training. I'm feeling pretty good, was a bit nauseated today but I think it's from all this stuff I'm pumping through my body so that is a good sign if that's the cause.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahL4wvjoARs&feature=related

This part of the movie is my favorite and I feel I can finally relate to it because that's my stubborn self getting mad and kicking my cancer to the end of it's life! Haha.

On to my WOD:

Push Press 5,5,5,3,3,3 rest 180 sec b/t sets

3 rounds:

50 Double Unders

Row 300m @ 85%

80,95,100,115,125F,125

Time- 7:59

I'm happy with the push press. I failed on #3 at 130 when I did this a couple weeks ago but only had 3x3 and today I had 5x3 before I even hit the 3's and got 125. The time for the WOD was slower than I wanted but for some reason double unders and rowing are a horrible combination for me. I have a hard time finding a good rhythm. The row was nice, I notice I'm pulling about 1:36-1:43 on 100% so figured about 1:59, staying under 2 was the goal even when I get tired. I accomplished that.

31/42; 12/52

2009-12-02T20:27:00.000-08:00

I've been talking with Robb Wolf a lot and he wants me to start sending him a food log everyday so he knows if something is wrong or things aren't working out right he can tweak what I'm eating. I started yesterday and he said I'm doing good so far. I'm going to be testing the ketones in my body and letting him no that as well. The reason I bring this up is because it's a great thing to do. I have never done a food log before because....um.....I'm lazy I guess. HA! No I'm not I just never seen a reason for it until, I started. I kept telling myself I was going to give into the temptations of the strawberry cake I made for the guys at work tonight, the grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup (classic), or even cheesy garlic bread dipped in the best sauce ever. Now that I don't have the option to cheat at all, I want it all but Robb (even though he doesn't know it) saved my life again. The last thing you want to write down in your log after the whole day was awesome is: HUGE slice of strawberry cake with vanilla frosting. On top of just looking at it yourself saying "Man I'm such an idiot and my stomach hurts" now I got Robb yelling at me as well telling me yah you are an idiot and your killing yourself too. HeHe I made all of you hungry now huh? Anyways, if you haven't tried a food log, try it, even for a week. It will help you stay on the yellow brick road:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY_-1GGebQE&feature=player_embedded

I got this video off a friends' site and it's excellent! I know a lot of crossfit folks struggle with rope climbs. This video will help I promise. I watched it and now I want to climb a 50ft rope just to see if I can.

Last thing, took one more rest day. Leg is still swollen but I will be back in the gym tomorrow to finish the week off strong. I will be calling UCLA tomorrow too to talk to my doc to make sure he got the sample from Walter Reed and when I should be making an appointment to go in. Again, let's pray that I get into this one. My Oncologist in San Diego said 70% of patients are responding to the drug they are giving them. That's the best odds my docs have seen for Melanoma (and me too from reading A LOT).

30/42; 11/52

2009-12-01T21:14:00.001-08:00

Today wasn't supposed to be a rest day but my leg is still extremely swollen and I think doing anything on it will make it worse. I even sat on my butt all day at work with my foot propped up. I felt lazy. I did get some good news though.......amazing huh! I don't have to go back through another liver biopsy. They are going to pull more samples from my original surgery and get it out to UCLA by tomorrow. So I should be in there next week with results, options, and hopefully starting something to get rid of this disgusting cancer.

http://startingstrength.com/articles/core_stability_rippetoe.pdf

I must say Rippetoe is a genius. I love the way he speaks about training.

29/42; 10/52

2009-11-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

Well I got the confirmation today that I am in fact Stage 4 Melanoma. My biopsy was positive for Melanoma but guess what......the military screwed up again. They screwed up so bad that I have to go and get another biopsy done. Great, I mean I had such an awesome experience getting stabbed the last time that I want to do it again! Yay! I called my doc around 2 today since he didn't call me and I asked him what's going on. Long story short he tells me that 90% of what they took was healthy liver tissue and only 10% was abnormal. 90%! Are you kidding me?! I literally wanted to take my combat boot and shove it through a wall at this point. How much more of a ratard can you be? It's your job day in and day out to do operations like these and you mess up by 90%? Wow I don't know about everyone else but for me one of two things would happen: 1. I'D KILL SOMEONE (I work with high voltage), or 2. I'D GET FIRED! So anyways I should be in this week to get another one even though I'm still sore from the last. Oh and I definitely asked to get sent out on town. No more military.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/09Games_CyndiFrieling_Deadlift.mov

The woman is this video is Cyndi. She is one of the females I competed with at the Games. I just wanted to show everyone how impressive this is. To see a crossfit woman that isn't like 185lbs+ lift 375 is amazing! Let alone any crossfit woman. She is my inspiration to lift more.

Another bummer thing that happened today is my leg is really bothering me I think I'm going to probably just take the rest of this week off. It's very swollen. I was trying to think what I did but I don't know because it was hurting Sunday morning before I worked out and I didn't work out Sat. Oh well on to my WOD:

A1. Snatch Deadlift 41x1; 4-6 x 5; rest 120sec b/t sets

A2. Bar Dips 30x2; 4-6 x 5; rest 120sec b/t sets(add weight if complete 6)

B1. AMRAP Knees to Elbows x 3; rest 120sec b/t sets

B2. AMRAP Push-ups x 3; rest 120sec b/t sets

A1. 95, 125, 150, 165, 185

A2. BW, 5, 10, 15, 20

B1. DNF

B2. 26,DNF, DNF

I still had about another 15lbs on the deadlift but didn't want to push to hard with the leg. The bar dips I wished I would of done 25lbs but happy with 20. The knees to elbows I couldn't do because it hurts to lift my leg and the push-ups hurt as well by putting pressure on it. Hopefully I can make all this up next week. :) :0 :)>

28/42;9/52

2009-11-29T15:47:00.000-08:00

Today has been a good day for me. I went to bed early last night so had plenty of energy this morning to go to the gym. Colin didn't plan this week out yet so I made sure it was fine if I did the OPT WOD today because every chance I get I want to work my lungs. Well I definitely lost them so hopefully Colin will give me a good metcon once or twice a week. After the gym my next big event was church. The pastor had an awesome message today. I was so glued into what he was saying I don't know if I even blinked or took a breath. Church always rejuvenates me for the tear down that I receive during the week.

http://westside-barbell.com/westside-articles/articles2008/lowerback_june08.pdf

Here is my WOD:

15,12,9,6,3

Power Snatch 65lbs

Burpees

Time-6:31

I am a bit disappointed with this time. I wanted to break 6 minutes but my lungs have lost some of their power because I've been doing nothing but strength and form work which is good but a bummer because my lungs were the hardest thing for me to work up as an athlete. I will be back though. I looked at the comments and I still beat all the females closest one was about 20sec behind but it wasn't my goal. Did the burpees unbroken and only broke 12 and 9 on the snatch so not to bad.

27/42; 8/52

2009-11-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

There's Huff and Jaala:)

Here is a good video of Blair. I worked out with Blair a couple times leading up to the Games. He's an awesome competitor and this WOD looks brutal. Plus I love how he did the video and the song he put in it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pteKL06_5s

Well today is a rest day for me.I'm going over to a friends' house in a bit for another Thanksgiving meal with a ton of people. Hope I'm up for it. Talked with the Nautropath Doc today and he gave me a bunch of things to look up, advice, and a couple other things to change or add into what I'm doing now. He told me not to have fear because so many people are beating cancer the way we are doing today and plus it will bring your immune system down. He also said everyone is battling cancer because you are either the star in the movie or you know someone in your life that will have to deal with it. 50% chance. 1 out of 2 people will have to deal with cancer in their life. Those are crappy odds. Hmmm so what about me? This is number 3 for me, guess I better be a cat because they got 9 lives. Hehe! Hope everyone has a beautiful Saturday.

26/42; 7/52

2009-11-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

If children have the ability to ignore all odds

and percentages, then maybe we can all

learn from them. When you think about it,

what other choice is there but to hope? We

have two options, medically and emotionally:

give up, or Fight Like Hell.

Lance Armstrong

I found this quote today and it really fits what I'm going through so wanted to share the

awesome words of wisdom with everyone.

Well finally getting used to this diet. I feel like blah all the time but at least I'm in the swing of it. Hopefully it will make a difference. No doctors called today. Monday I should here about results from the biopsy and the Nautropath Doc is going to call me tomorrow morning. I will keep you posted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nYx8iX9oX8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgH_ZoMOht8

I don't usually post videos like these but wanted to change things up a bit. The first one is a really drunk guy. I don't drink anymore and I think this is hilarious. I can't believe how drunk people get and they want to go buy more alcohol. Idiot. The second one is mostly for someone that does Crossfit. Sorry for the swearing, I don't like to hear it either. Here is my WOD:

Shoulder Press 83% 1RM 5,5,5,5,5; rest 180sec b/t sets

AMRAP 5 minutes rope climb

4F,5F,5,4F,3F

7 rope climbs 16ft

I felt defeated today doing those shoulder presses. I don't think I've ever failed that much but then again I think it might of just been to many reps. I tried though that's all I can do. Previous 1RM 120, 83% is 99.6, used 100lbs. The rope climbs got tough real quick. I wore the wrong shoes so I was sliding all over the place but still got 7 so happy with that. I'm so happy it's the weekend. Oh and I finally get my satellite set up tomorrow, yay!

25/42; 6/52

2009-11-26T20:07:00.000-08:00

Yay! Happy Turkey Day:) I hope everyone stuffed their face. I actually took some time away from all the cancer stuff and spent it with some friends and we watched a movie after all the food. It a nice change of pace. Well OPT emailed me today and gave me his doctors email. I emailed him and we are going to talk tomorrow. Hopefully he can offer some good advice. His name is Jeoff. Here is another article from Steven:

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/11/shoes-sitting-and-lower-body-dysfunctions/

Of course my favorite part of the day:

A. Power Clean 3,3,3,1,1,1 ; rest 180sec b/t sets

B1. Bar Dips 40x1 2-3 x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets

B2. Knees to Elbows 15 x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets

C. Deadlift 60% of 1RM 2 x 8; rest 45sec b/t sets

A. 95,110,125,135,145,150

B1. Rx'd

B2. Rx'd

C. Rx'd @ 170lbs

I notice my energy level is now gone. I know it's from the way I'm eating and that's fine because my life is more important than what I do in the gym. Just sucks to feel like blah all the time, I miss my crazy self. I attempted 155 on the power clean but the elbows were to slow and the hips didn't get open enough. The bar dips were easy and K2E sucked because my hands were chewed up from the Chest to bar yesterday so my hand ripped not a surprise, but all in all still easy because I could kip. Previous 1rm on the deadlift was 280 so 168 is 60%, of course I went up to 170. This part was for speed work. I felt towards the end I wanted to get lazy and let my back do the work (like I always do and end up injuring myself) but I made sure to just concentrate since Colin doesn't allow bouncing, it made it a bit easier to focus again. I'm excited for tomorrow, it's going to be tough.

24/42; 5/52

2009-11-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

I love the gym! Sometimes I wish I could marry it. It never argues with me, makes me feel good, lets me take all my anger out on it, pushes me to try harder, and makes the sexiest human beings alive. Who wouldn't want to! Here's a good main site video and a post from Colin's blog:

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/CrossFit_BMAC_JasonAnalyzed.mov

http://www.CrossfitVentura.com/colinjenkinsblog/2009/11/rest-day-1.html

I must say I totally agree with what Colin says here (even though I didn't attend), I tried to put what happened into words and he said it perfect. Colin was at the Black Box this past weekend and witnessed all the drama that Robb posted about. It's sad to see HQ coming to this.

Here is my WOD:

A1. High Bar Back Squat 40x2; 4-6 x 4; rest 120sec b/t sets

A2. Chest to bar pull-ups 15 x 4; rest 120sec b/t sets

B1. AMRAP Double Unders x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets

B2. Kettlebell Swings 53lb ; 20 x 3; rest 90sec b/t sets

C. Hip Extensions 31x1; 10 x 4; rest 45sec b/t sets

A1. 80,95,105,115

A2. Completed

B1. 56, 37, 34

B2. Rx'd

C. Rx'd

For the back squat, it's the first day adding weight so Colin only wanted it easy to where I wasn't struggling on the up part. I said 115 and it was perfect. Any heavier and it would of been tension on the up. My Chest to bar suck for some reason. Might be because I was scared of going all out since I just had that biopsy. I don't know but definitely going to have to work on those. I'm very disappointed with my double unders. I haven't been able to focus for a few days so I guess this is ok. Kettlebell swings I wanted to do unbroken and I did and same with hip extensions.

I feel pretty good today. I've been sleeping a lot so I think it's helping a bit. Got in some of the meds I ordered and immediately took some (not a good idea before you workout felt like I was going to puke). I hope it starts to make a difference. Oh and one last thing, I want to say thanks to everyone without your high hopes and willing to put down what your doing to help me out I'd be a bum right now!

I was on my way back from the hospital yesterday and I felt like crap(no sleep) so I texted my roommie and asked if he'd bail on work for the rest of the day to go watch New Moon. He did and it was so worth it(for me). Brought my spirits up and he got out of work early so it benefited both of us. Thanks Tony!

Mess Up

2009-11-24T19:31:00.000-08:00

Posted about my row WOD the other day it was 1187m not 1087m. Guess that's what you get for trying to do math when your out of breath! I'm real happy with this. This was an OPT wod and I beat all the women that posted and even some of the men:) I love to crush those egos even when your just coming back to.

23/42; 4/52

2009-11-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

Another rest day. I guess I'll have to get used to these because I'm sure I'm going to be taking a lot once I start treatments. I'm already getting tired of veges all the time. I used to eat nothing but fruit about 5 months ago because I love it, and now having to cut it out is such a bummer. At least before I had a cheat day once or twice a week to look forward to. Now I got another 48 days. I know though even if I had the opportunity to shove that doughnut, reese's pieces, pizza, or some other type of cancer feeding frenzy down my throat I wouldn't do it because I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of staying alive in me. Yuck! I watched a video on NOVA of different stages of cancer and what the melanoma tumors look like. Talk about wanting to literally rip something out of your body because it's gross. Reminds me of some weird bug you've never seen before that lands on you, your first reaction is "ewwww" and you instantly get it off. That's what this thing looks like and how I feel but I can't do anything about it but try to kill it with food and supplements. I get so mad every time I think about it. Here I'll post the link. Mine starts at video 1 and goes down to video 6. I'm also going to post about Robbs' article today. He told me about this but I figured it was only a matter of time before he wrote about it.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/cancer/cells.html

http://robbwolf.com/?p=976#comments

When I checked this morning he had 29 comments.....he now has 229 and it's only been a day. Personally, Robb changed my life and has the education to back him up. I would never doubt his judgement when it comes to nutrition. He's no idiot and I hope he sets his own nutrition program up because it will be awesome and it might actually be accredited:)

22/42; 3/52

2009-11-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry I didn't write yesterday, getting stabbed in the liver 5 times kind of caused me to not really feel up to it so I'll post twice today. I really hate military hospitals. I swear all these people are idiots. I feel like I have the worst care when I'm admitted to one of these places but at least I'm used to it. At least civilians don't have to go through being a guinea pig for doctors that are "in training". I had one come in this morning and asked how my pain was. I told her it was fine and she goes on to ask ok, so you've been controlling it with the drip? I looked at her like she was from another planet. For one she woke me up at the crack of dawn(when they come wake you every 4 hrs anyways to take your vitals and temperature), then she didn't even take 1 sec to look at the name on the door that says "Miller", and last I'm not even hooked up to anything and have no IV of any kind even in my room. Seriously, these are the kind of the doctors the military puts in to take care of our men and women that are supposed to fight for this country, my dog could do a better job. Anyways, had to vent for a second because I just can't believe how ignorant some people are. HA!

Well all in all the biopsy went well. They had a CT scanner and ultrasound hooked up to make sure they stabbed me in the right spot (thank goodness). It was a bit horrible. First they numbed the outside skin and then stuck me to numb the outside of the liver. No big deal right. Well, they didn't put me out and only gave me a tiny bit of drugs because I had to be coherent enough to breathe and hold my breath as they stuck needles in to grab tissue. Talk about a bit painful. Probably could of been on no meds at all and it would of felt the same. Needless to say I was a bit sore and starving. They didn't let me eat until like 1900 at night. Talk about a grumpy crossfitter that is denied food. Oh man was I a complainer. They eventually let me eat so I stuffed my face. Probably wasn't good idea because my stomach was hurting for about 2 hrs after. Well off to another day of interesting journey at the hospital and my drive home:)

21/42;2/52

2009-11-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and decided to do a good WOD:

Sprint Row 30sec-100%max effort

rest 2:30min x 7sets

For Total Distance

171m,175m,167m,164m,167m,171m,172m=1187m

I think I was supposed to do 8 but to late now. I did 7 and I am very satisfied with the results. First time back hard on a rower with 2 feet and my butt was on fire by the end. Felt good to breath hard again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturopathy

Colin emailed me this morning to tell me he talked with Robb and they figured out a new plan for training me with everything going on. I'm interested to see what that is. Robb also emailed me and said he sat down with OPT to talk about my situation. They discussed options as far as training, nutrition, and getting some type of care outside these medical doctors that love to take their sweet time with everything(especially when it's holiday season). OPT knows a naturopath that he offered to let me talk to for a few sessions. I sat here and read his email and started to cry again for joy this time because I can't believe that no matter how competitive our community is we are all brothers and sisters. We are here to help each other until the end. I'm finally experiencing this and I hope I can one day help the lives of others as these gentlemen have for me.

On another note, I know this is probably lame but I got to stay positive and sometimes it requires you to be a little loopy and talk to yourself, HA. I was eating my breakfast this morning and I was happy as I chowed down Paleo pancakes soaked in coconut oil, eggs with coconut milk, and broccoli and I said "Cancer, your going to die."

20/42; 1/52

2009-11-21T21:44:00.000-08:00

I had a rest day today which was well needed after the week I had. I slept for like 10hrs, got up and read, made breakfast, went and got a massage, grocery shopping, lunch, then a nap(again well needed) then went out with my CFV family over at the Majors'. I really wish I had energy. I started the new way of eating today and it's kicking my butt but I know I have to do it. Looking into other supplements as well to see what I can find. Off to another day....hopefully I got time to take the dogs to the beach:)

Another Day

2009-11-20T21:08:00.000-08:00

I hate this up and down emotions I keep getting. This is so stressful and taxing on me. I wish I could just convince myself I'm fine so my body is extremely healthy to fight this cancer off hard. I decided to up my fish oil to 12.5 grams/day and vitamin C up to 2500mg/day. I'm leaving Vitamin D where it is because this I have already played with and 5,000IU/day is enough for me. This is what I have on hand right now that I can change. I'm still looking into other stuff and will hopefully be stocked come Wed to really hit it hard. I put on order a supplement of medium chain triglycerides to help with my fat intake. These don't take as long to absorb as long chain and they absorb differently too. They will give me energy I need especially if I start to have some digestive problems. I'm truly scared of what will happen but like they say "It's either you or them". I will put every last effort I have to make sure it's not me. On to my favorite part of the day my WOD:

Max rounds in 20 min:

"Ydnic"

5 Squats

10 Push-ups

15 Pull-ups

Rounds-13

I wished I could of gotten 2 more but my hands were starting to get tore up from all the pull-ups so I started just doing singles. It wasted a ton of time but it saved my hands from looking like hamburger meat. Plus, it's the most pull-ups I've ever done in a WOD. For those of you that didn't notice it's Cindy with the squats and pull-ups reversed because of my leg.......and guess what.....it's genius. It's way harder and you still get an awesome workout from it.

Work had a Thanksgiving potluck tonight. It was very nice to have a big family dinner. It was much needed. Even though my roommate and I showed up late thanks to him there was still a lot of good food and desserts (to bad I couldn't have any).

18/42

2009-11-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

I'm still very mentally drained from the horrible news I got yesterday and it's finally starting to sink in that it's a reality. It's also starting to give me motivation because this is not what I want to die from. I know my odds are horrible right now considering this is the 3rd time I've had it and now I'm considered Stage 4 but who cares I've always had to bust my butt to accomplish anything successful in my life and I wouldn't expect this to be any different. I'm extremely grateful for all my supporters because without all of you I would be in the dump right now. I have come to many tears of joy today hearing all the support and just a hug that says I'm here is all I can ask for.

On to my WOD:

A. Deadlift-5,5,5 rest 240sec b/t sets(only pr 5-10lbs from 2 weeks ago then stop; overhand grip as long as possible)

B. Shoulder Press 60% 1RM 2x8sets; rest 30sec b/t sets

C. Max 30 unbroken double unders in 5 minutes

A. 205,215,225

B. Rx'd 75lbs

C. 6 sets

I felt horrible starting off today so decided to throw on my iPod and blast some Hatebreed to get me up from my slump. I don't know if I was mad at this cancer or if my deadlift has improved but I was extremely happy with the results today. No bouncing on the deads. I did this for the first time 2 weeks ago and struggled horribly with 215 with alternate grip. I ripped 225 overhand like I was going to hurt someone. Oh man, Colin let me do a 1RM before I start to head downhill I want that 300. I feel like I'm there. The shoulder press was fine. Supposed to use 72 so just went up and the DU were hard to focus but I got through it.

One last thing(I know this is long) I've decided to really tweek my diet this time and no cheating on anything. I will help to reverse this process in my body. I'm still going to stay Paleo but I'm going to eat 70%fat,20% protein, 10% carbs(all veges) NO FRUIT AT ALL. The only thing I will allow is fresh strawberries and it's going to be rare. I'm starting this Saturday and going for 52days. Should be getting more scans by then. Interested to see how they turn out.

17/42 Horrible Rest Day

2009-11-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

Sorry I didn't post yesterday so hopefully I will do 2 today. I went down to UCLA to start my clinical trial. I've been happy and excited to think I'm getting better when in reality I was getting worse. A LOT WORSE! I had to get MRI and CT scans done again so they could have up to date scans for the trial. We were all in shock! 2 months ago I had just the one area in my leg that wasn't good so they did the surgery and I was good to go. Now, I have masses all over my body. 2 months. That's it. I now have 10-12 nodules in my liver (pretty much the whole thing) and numerous nodules in both lungs(all over the place). I sat and looked at my doctor in shock and just started crying all over the place.

Before yesterday life was starting to look good, I felt good, I had tons of options, and I was going to be a survivor of cancer. Yesterday I started the battle of my life praying to God that I will have one option and by a miracle it will save my life. It's so hard to tell everyone you love that you are now at risk to not be here soon let alone trying to believe it yourself.

I'm doing a ton of research on the biology of Melanoma and I got others that are going to help as well. Hopefully there is a breakthrough for me. Considering Melanoma doesn't have a cure yet all I can do is pray.

Monday I once again head back down to San Diego to get a liver biopsy so they can test the genetic make-up of the nodule(it would be awesome if they mixed my test up with someone else!) and hopefully give me some good options for a clinical trial. Stay classy San Diego!

16/42

2009-11-17T21:36:00.001-08:00

I finally got back from San Diego today and hopefully I don't have to go back down there for awhile because it wears you down. I do have to drive back down to UCLA early tomorrow but hopefully I'll be back a little early to relax and get some things done that I haven't been able to get done.

http://thepaleodiet.blogspot.com/

I've been meaning to add this as a link on my blog but keep forgetting. This is the official Paleo Diet blog. It's still very new (like mine) but already a bunch of great info and Q & A's.

My leg was sore today from yesterday....not my Quad either but the actual ligament where they sewed the muscle on. Definitely not doing that for awhile. I was excited about today but soon realized it was going to be just as hard as yesterday. Doing the amrap of dips between the snatches really killed me to pull normal. I was very unsatisfied with how I did at first but then thought about it and haven't done anything heavy from the floor in 2 months and with the holds I was fried from the first part. I kept wishing for 3 minutes rests too, 2 minutes wasn't enough but there is reasoning behind it.Thanks Colin....I enjoy the suck.

WOD:

A1. Power Snatch 2,2,2,2,2 rest 120 sec b/t sets

A2. Ring Dips 21x0; amrap x 5; rest 120 sec b/t sets

B1. Snatch Overhead Hold 95lbs x 3 sets for max time; rest 120sec b/t sets

B2. Ring Support Hold 3 sets for max time; rest 120sec b/t sets

C. Walking Lunges 1010; 20r 20l x 3 sets; alternate each leg; rest as needed

A1. 80,95,105,115,120F

A2. 8,5,5,5,4

B1. 63,53,62

B2. 46,44,47

C. rx'd rested only 1min b/t sets

I have this problem with my butt always coming up early, this is why I couldn't get 120 and why my deadlift sucks too. 115 felt strong and pretty sure I can get 125 for 2 if my butt stays down. Previous PR 1RM was 135, so 2 at 115 not bad. On the ring dips the tempo is hard and thought I was being slick by kipping (1st set) then Colin (always ruins it for me when I try to make it easy...ha! I honestly don't mind) told me "No Kipping". Last 4 sets were no leg movement. Made a huge difference. The holds were insane after A1 and A2. Wanted over a minute on everything but excited with how close it all was. The walking lunges felt fine on my leg so we will see in a couple days. Rest Day tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

15/42

2009-11-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

I finally got more time than about 12hrs in San Diego this time so I tried my best to see everyone I could. It was so awesome to see all my old friends. They put a huge smile on my face everytime. I got all my scans done and tomorrow I go pick up copies to bring home. Hopefully they look better than the last time.

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/08/why-speed-work-is-necessary-for-elite-endurance/

WOD:

5 Rounds:

15 GHD Sit-ups

15 Hip extensions

15 L Pull-ups

For Time.

19:14

This workout was probably one of the hardest I've ever done. I've never done L pull-ups in a WOD and they were extremely tough to get through. The first 5 were easy in each round but after that it just went to crap. The sit-ups and hip extensions by round 5 really started to hurt. I know I'm going to feel this one bad!

14/42

2009-11-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Had to drive down to San Diego today so no good info today. I'm getting an MRI and CT scans tomorrow, then back home, and back to UCLA after that. Here is my WOD:

A. Push Press 3,3,3 rest 4 min b/t sets

B. AMRAP 4 min Kettlebell swings 24/16kg

C. AMRAP 4 min Knees to Elbows

Score is A+B+C

105, 115, 130(2)

119

Total-275

I was disappointed with my performance today. I know it's only because I'm still recovering from my horrible weekend of splurging out on food and crap. On the PP I'm sure I could of gotten 135 but couldn't focus and the bar kept coming away from my face. The bar was going up easy so maybe next time. On the AMRAP my goal was to focus on the KB swings. I didn't want to put it down for the whole 4 min. Almost made it. Made it to 3:35 before my grip just couldn't hold on anymore. Breathing was fine though. My grip was shot for the K2E so just did what I could. I will post more tomorrow:)

Rest Day 13/42

2009-11-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

I love rest days. I'm actually sore today all over so rest is nice. I decided to take this weekend and go all out and do some bad cheats to see how it feels. Last night I went and ate a whole small thin crust pieces (6 pieces) and then went and ate a big thing of ice cream from Baskin Robbins that had crushed Oreo, marshmallow, hot fudge and whip cream on it, today I've eaten a quesadilla and let me tell you.....I don't think I can do anymore. I feel like death right now. Like I want to just rip my stomach out and get a new one. I was doing excellent on Paleo (for those of you that don't know what Paleo is here is a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCFZoqmKf5M) for weeks with cheats being sushi on Friday night and some fruit here and there(I've only been eating veggies). I'm amazed at the results. Oh and no drinking either. I decided that I wanted to do some testing to see how bad the American way of eating really is, sugar, gluten, dairy, all that crap. I will NEVER GO BACK! To feel the ups and downs from the high GI carbs is dreadful, always sleepy, don't feel like doing anything, lack of performance, and just feeling disgusting in general. I can't take it anymore, I'm going back to being healthy again and feeling awesome. America, you can continue to get fat, kill yourself with food, never be an elite athlete, and just suck at life in general.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDE305kbaGU

Another amazing video! It goes to show how max effort training really does benefit power output. I wish I could do this WOD unbroken....Holy Crap! OPT is doing something right.

I went to the gym today to cheer on my fellow CFV guys (Colin and Matt) as they competed in the OPT Big Dawg Challenge #2. Amazing performances by both guys. I was glad to be there. Colin won the first time and from what I've seen today he might take this one too. We will soon know. If Colin doesn't qualify for the Games this year I will be very surprised. I hope the next OPT challenge I can do. Oh yah, why weren't any of the women doing it? Geez girls, next time I better see some of you CFV women doing it!

Tomorrow I take another trip down to San Diego to get more tests done. Stopping at UCLA on the way down to sign like 40 pages of paperwork and to get some blood work done. Yay so excited for that.

12/42

2009-11-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

So Cute!

Set your goals based not on what you know you can do.
Set your goals based on what you're most passionate about.

There are capabilities you have that you don't yet know you have.
Meaningful challenges will awaken those capabilities and get them working for you.-OPT

Brilliant! If you don't live by this you are an idiot.

First thing I want to say is I love Friday the 13th. It has always been a good day for me. Got that call from the doctor and I'm qualified for the clinical trial! Yay! Now I just got to pray that I'm part of the 2/3 of people that actually get the shots and not placebo pills. I found out at work today and all I wanted to do is run around and tell everyone because I was pretty much in tears but one of our generators got tipped upside down from some idiot transporting it that didn't check his load before he left, everyone was outside cleaning up the mess. It's going to be a busy week next week, driving back down to San Diego for a ton more tests but got to do what I have to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Vr7S9pxoTc

http://www.westside-barbell.com/articles/deadlifting/

The first one is another video that I think I have probably watched like 10 times now. It's a video of Crossfit women. I think it's amazing and very sexy seeing women out there wanting to lift more than just a pound. I hate when I see these skinny fat women that talk about going to do yoga or pilates that weigh 95lbs and look like they don't eat. It's disgusting! I would rather see women young and old trying to clean over a 100lbs or sweating their butts off to get that new PR on Fran. Shins bleeding from doing deadlifts and walking right over to the bar to pick it up and do another rep. Men.....these are real women. Get out of the way because we are coming through to crush some egos. On that note everyone keep trying their best and always setting new goals for yourself! Next is an article on deadlifts. I really suck at deadlifting so I read a lot of articles from Westside on it because they have the best so the coach obviously knows something about it. Good read.

On to my WOD:

3 rounds:

Run 200m

Max reps chest to bar pull-ups

Rest 3 minutes b/t rounds

For Time:

2-20 Unbroken Squats

20-2 Unbroken Push-ups

PU-10,10,10

Time- 9:12

On the first WOD I decided to only go for 10 pull-ups on each round because I'm tired of my hands being all ripped up so I'm letting them heal. A bit of a bummer because everyone can get better at chest to bar pull-ups. The run I wanted to do 80-85% pre surgery pace. I was running about 40sec 200m and it was pulling on my leg so we will see how sore I get from it. On the second WOD: I HATE PUSH-UPS! For me being a pretty good athlete I suck at push-ups. I don't understand why I just do. The WOD said unbroken I think I only did the single numbers unbroken. I blame this on the military. If they would require us to do full ROM on PT tests I would kill these but they don't so I'm going to suck at life with these. Just got to work on them. Squats were fine, did all unbroken and worked on slow and consistent as well as for speed.

Tired

2009-11-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Had a long day so going to try and make this short. I didn't really post anything for Veterans' Day (shame on me because I am one). It's sad because most of us, including me, just pass this day along like it's nothing. Most of us worry about our day to day lives and getting stressed out over work, kids, or even spouses. Have you ever stopped to think what a military family has to go through in times of war? Or even just deploying on a regular basis? No one really understands unless you do it. I'm coming from experience and it's very difficult. I have wanted to give my life away to someone and they couldn't accept it because of what they would have to deal with being with someone in the military. All I ask for is for you to honestly turn around and tell someone in the military, "Thank you". That's it. Shake their hand and say thanks. It means a lot and I promise you that.

Well, found a good video that was a couple years ago but still is awesome and the POSE video.....sorry Colin took it off your site.............it's awesome! I've watched it like 4 times and it's a great tool to learn as well as getting you pumped for whatever:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5fMv-ztYo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEqM9EbNK5g&feature=player_embedded

Thank you to all that have served, are serving or who I have served with!

First thing, I finally got a call from the doctor.....I find out tomorrow if I qualify for the clinical trial I'm trying to get into to.....cross your fingers. If so, next week will be very busy medically but at least the ball will be rolling so should be good. I will keep you posted.

Had a long day at work, well at least felt like it. Went to WOD and wasn't really feeling it but at least had some skill and strength work today. Here it is:

A. 3 position power clean 1.1.1 x 5; 180sec rest b/t sets (high hang, hang, power)

B. Deadlift 50% previous 1RM 2 x 10sets; 45 sec rest b/t sets

C. GHD Raises 10-12 x 3sets; rest 45 sec b/t sets

A. 80,95,115,135,140,145F

B. #140 completed as rx

C. did 12 x 3 completed as rx

The cleans I decided to just go until failure. The hangs felt very strong but was loosing that hip extension on the power cleans. I think I would of gotten 145 but the bar slipped right out of my hands. It was in a hook grip too. Oh well, it hurt so I stopped. The deadlifts were not bounced. It was as explosive as possible on each one. Previous PR was 280 so used 140....felt good. Last was GHD. I love this piece of equipment for some reason. It gives you so much suck every time you get on it that it makes me have a love/hate relationship with it.

Impressed!

2009-11-11T20:12:00.000-08:00

I forgot my camera at work so couldn't upload any pictures, sorry. Here is a great article on stretching. A lot of people get their panties in a knot when it comes to stretching so hopefully this will clear things up a bit:

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/08/the-when-and-why-of-static-stretching/

Today was an awesome Veterans' Day......I guess. I finally got all the main stuff in my house put away so I was pretty excited about that. My roommate and I busted our butts today doing it. We got a little more to do but there is no rush on the rest.

I woke up a bit tired today so hoping to make it up tonight. My leg feels great. Today is day 2 after the Tabata squats and I'm not sore. This is a really good sign. Here is my WOD:

1RM Shoulder Press

AMRAP- Muscle-ups

GHD Sit-ups 3x10 @ 2020; rest 60 sec b/t sets

1RM-120

MU-20

GHD-did them all

I'm extremely happy with how I did today! On the shoulder press I was only 5 pounds off from my PR which is awesome considering I haven't done anything heavy going on 7 weeks now. I'm amazed with my muscle-ups. I did 30 MU for time only 3-4 weeks ago and it took me like 24-26min(can't quite remember) and today I got 20 in 7min with 3 missed attempts. As I got warm, I started to pick up speed doing about 3-4 a min by the end, so considering if I wouldn't of missed those 3, 23 muscle-ups in 7 min, even 20 muscle-ups, now puts me under 10min for the 30 muscle-ups for time (if I work my butt off). Very impressed! Now I got to work on stringing them together. Lastly, the GHD sit-ups, my leg felt fine on these and I was excited to get some ab work in. I'm sure I'll be sore in a few days! Hope everyone has a good evening :)

Rest Day

2009-11-10T21:18:00.000-08:00

I decided to take a rest day today because I have off work tomorrow and would rather WOD on a day off then try and make it on a day that I do work. Today was great! I actually got to work in the yard today......mostly drilling concrete today but it was still nice to finally get my hands dirty again. My leg bothered me a bit today so I took a break whenever I needed it. I wasn't tired and came home to do more in the house. Tomorrow should be the last day. Yay!

http://www.Fit4YouNutrition.com/article15.html

Wow!

2009-11-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

Yep these two little ones are mine. Thought I'd have big dogs huh? Nope. You would fall in love with them too if you had them.

http://www.westside-barbell.com/articles/max-effort-method/

Not to much to say today because I had a long day. Drove back from San Diego, worked in my house to put more stuff away, went and did a WOD, cooked a bit of dinner, had to iron then shower......geez that's a lot. But had an awesome WOD:

Tabata Squats (slow and consistent)

"Flight Simulator"

5-50-5 (increments of 5)

unbroken double unders (if even 1 rep is missed on any set you have to start that set over)

Tabata-12 each round

Time-14:24

The tabata felt great. I will have to wait a few days to see how sore my leg gets. The Flight Simulator is an OPT WOD and it is RIDICULOUS! I thought my arms were going to fall off. I missed 2 sets; 40 and 25 on the way down. When you miss it's very aggravating and gets you heated. You have to stop and refocus to be able to finish. I was trying to beat Colins' time of 11:55. I didn't but considering it was his second time I feel good about my time. Thank you Colin.

REALLY?

2009-11-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

I've always seen pictures like this and have actually seen people do this but in almost 2 years I have never had my own hands look like this............that is until today.

http://robbwolf.com/?p=634

Robb talked about this yesterday and I think it's an awesome piece of info for everyone.

Here is my WOD:

7 Rounds:

10 Kettlebell Swings 1pd

10 pull-ups

ear must show in front of arm for kbs

chin must break vertical plane of bar for every pull-up

Time- 9:14

I looked at this WOD for a bit today. I kept thinking, man this looks to easy. I knew it was going to hurt in some shape, way, or form. I wanted to use a 1.5pd KB, but considering today is my first day swinging a bell again and using my hips I decided to take it easy. It still kicked my butt though. I didn't pay attention to detail on this one either. Did my first round in about 25sec or so and thought I was going to smoke it then Colin walked over and wasn't counting my pull-ups, so I asked why and he said "you got to break the plane". I said "shit" because I knew now I couldn't butterfly and had to do regular kipping pull-ups. Great! I was doing good until about round 5 and my forearms started burning like they were on fire, by 6 I ripped and was screaming in my head how much I hated and loved Colin at the same time for putting my through all of this. Finished 6 and KBS on 7 and walked around for a second to stretch my forearms and all I hear is OMG! as I drip blood on the floor I walk over to the pull-up bar and crank out the last 10 because I know how much of a pain cleaning the floor is.....would rather clean a bar.

Today is going to be a good day. I'm driving down to San Diego in a few hours to go to a lovely appointment tomorrow at Oncology. At least I get to see a few of my friends while I'm there. YAY!

CF Nutrition Cert

2009-11-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

This is Nicki Violetti and Robb Wolf. Awesome couple! They are owners of CF Norcal and have been a HUGE help on setting me in the right direction with my recovery, training, and anything else that might come up.

Robb is an NSCA Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, a USAW Olympic Weightlifting coach, and a certified CrossFit Coach.

Robb also has a BS in Biochemistry. He worked as a research biochemist for 5 years, which includes CV lipid metabolism research at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center as well as Paleolithic Diet research with Prof. Loren Cordain of Colorado State University and author of the book The Paleo Diet. He is also a review editor for the Journal of Nutrition and Metabolism and co-publisher and editor-in-chief of The Performance Menu.

Nicki is hidden in the backround of the CF Nutrition Cert but has a huge part in the operation they have going on. Don't think things would run so smooth without her around. She has competed at the collegiate level in three different sports: volleyball, swimming, and track & field. Nicki is an NSCA Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, holds Level III CrossFit trainer, and USAW Level I Olympic Weightlifting Coach certifications.

In addition to Nicki’s fitness background, she has a BA in Economics and speaks Italian, Spanish and a fair amount of Russian. She is also co-publisher of The Performance Menu.

I had to talk about these two because besides Colin and Huff these are the other two that are making a big impact on my life right now and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I got a TON of great information today and want to look up a bunch of more things about it all.

No WOD today, no article, and felt good all day so no complaints.

BCAA

2009-11-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

Obviously this wasn't today because I'm not supposed to be squatting this much weight but I will be soon.

I'm going to try and not blab about the article I post everyday but sometimes I just can't help it. I want to let everyone know about supplementing BCAA (Branched Chain Amino Acids) into what you're already doing now. I've researched a lot of supplements and this is one of three that I take daily. I started taking them about a month before surgery (didn't know I had cancer yet) and after surgery I doubled what I was taking due to the fact I needed the help for my recovery. Four weeks out of surgery and my PT said I had "average mobility". Today, I feel great and everyone I talk to is impressed by my recovery so far. It makes you wonder why doctors don't tell their patients about this kind of stuff. Every doctor I have seen that has asked about my medication always asks "What's BCAA?", then they don't ask why or say good job. WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE MEDICAL WORLD?! Anyways, I break up what I take but definitely try to take half before I WOD because it decreases muscle protein breakdown. I'm on about 6g/day because with how much protein I consume from meat,poultry, and eggs I'm receiving more than the "average".

http://www.Fit4YouNutrition.com/article27.html

On to my WOD:

8 rounds:

Walk 30sec

Run 30sec (metronome at 91)

10 Handstand negatives (as slow as possible to the floor)

I was a bit sore from the DL yesterday and Colin figured I would be so he programmed an active recovery day for me. Good thinking. It was still interesting because this was my first time running again in 6 weeks. It feels weird with my muscle in a new place but didn't hurt so that's a good sign. My mobility is still a bit restricted so mostly focused on POSE technique today. My leg is causing me to run like this anyways because heel striking(BAD!) causes to much force on the ligament where my muscle is attached to now.

Again I woke up today and felt like a zombie. It's friday so was in good spirits. Work let me off around 1 and I came home and busted my a@s in my house to start putting all my stuff away(received all my household goods this week). Got to a good stopping point around 5 and decided to go workout. I'll get some good sleep tonight:)

Deadlifts

2009-11-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

Here are the owners of CFVentura, Colin and Bill. I'm sure I will be mentioning them..........A LOT........ so wanted to let you see them!

Back in Jan I started to see some pretty good gains on everything including my deadlift. I went from 225 to 265 in a matter of almost a month. I was impressed. About a month after that I pulled 275 and my back along with it. I knew it was to late to heal with qualifiers in a month. So I worked through it, in pain on every workout where the muscles in my back were erected (which is pretty much everything). I qualified and decided to not touch a heavy deadlift until after the Games because I knew I would make it worse. I just made sure to pull 185 and sometimes 205 because those would be competing weight for the women. BIG MISTAKE! I figured deadlifts would come out in the Games, but was hoping it wouldn't be a max pull. I got lucky didn't I. Anyways, if your going to the Games you can't have more than 1 weakness or you can say goodbye to placing well. I knew I would beat the heavier women on the run and would pull in the middle on the deadlift. Not good enough there......

I decided something has to change after the Games. I was tired of having ridiculous weightlifting numbers and a deadlift that wasn't over 300 yet. I got introduced to Westside barbell. Since then I have read a ton of articles written from Lou Simmons (amazing powerlifter and owner of Westside). What they do is way different from what most Crossfitters even know about. It's very interesting to me and I have started implementing what I can(minus the chains and bands because a normal CF gym isn't set up for this) and wish I could do more. I came across this article written by Dave Tate (also an awesome powerlifter and owner at EliteFTS). It's about his first experience at Westside because he was getting bored with what he was doing. I was amazed at this and I'm going to buy one of these bars when I can collect some money.

http://www.elitefts.com/documents/safety_squat_bar.htm

OK. on to my WOD(workout of the day for those of you that don't know)

A1. Deadlift 5,5,5,5 rest 120sec

A2. Bar Dips 4-6x4; rest 120sec

B1. Pull-ups 31x1; 2-3x3 rest 90sec

B2. Ring Dips AMRAP x3 rest 90sec

Man this tempo work is ridiculous and I'm still trying to get used to it. I keep messing it up, but should be good to go real soon. On the DL I started at 185. Did the first set touch and go. Colin said "NO". I had to do one at a time...up,down, another breath then up. Holy crap this was way harder! Then did the bar dips. I did 5 reps and no kipping with it. Next I moved on to B1 &B2. Again I did the pull-ups wrong but was corrected quickly. Did dead hang on the pull-up and used a kip on the ring dips. Was fried b the time I got here.

DL- 185, 205, 205, 215

BD-5 on each set

PU-3 on each set

RD- 8, 12, 6

One last thing and I will shut up for today. I started back at work yesterday, only a half day and I was beat. Woke up today and felt like a zombie half of the day because I was so worn down. Hope work doesn't end up being to hard especially when I'm not even turning wrenches yet. Being in a new place really helps with the motivation and morale so we will see.

REST DAY!

2009-11-04T05:53:00.001-08:00

Picture on the left was 5 weeks ago. UGH! Pretty scary, I was worried it wouldn't look normal again. The picture on the right was taken yesterday. Awesome job Colonel! It's healing very well.

http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/2009/10/a-closer-look-at-vitamin-d/

If you have some time please take a minute and read this article on Vitamin D. It was written by Steven Low. Steven is a former competitive gymnast who, in recent years, has been heavily involved in the gymnastics performance troupe, Gymkana. With his degree from the University of Maryland in Biochemistry, Steven has spent thousands of hours independently researching the scientific foundations of health, fitness and nutrition. Currently Steven is pursuing a doctorate of Physical Therapy which provides him with insights into practical care for common injuries. His training is varied and intense with a focus on sprinting, gymnastics and parkour. He currently resides in his home state of Maryland. I had the opportunity of meeting and talking with Steven and he is a very intelligent individual that is out there to help anyone that needs it.

My old roommate (Hi Emily! I miss you!) actually found this article and sent it to me when we found out I had Melanoma. Since then I have been taking 5,000IU/day of Vitamin D-3 (which was recommended by Robb Wolf, I will be talking about him very soon because he is an amazing help to the Crossfit community) and I feel great.

What does this mean for you? Vitamin D is very cheap compared to most pills out there on the market today (and half of what most of you take is worthless and you have no idea why your even taking them) so spend a couple dollars on something that will definitely make a difference in your life later on.

Update

2009-11-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

So Colin started my programming this week so I will put down both WODs I did:

Monday 091102

A1. Hang Power Snatch 3,3,3,1,1,1 rest 180 sec b/t sets

B1. Knees To Elbows 2020:10x4 rest 60 sec b/t

B2. Hip extensions 40X2: 15x4 rest 60 sec b/t

-Finally got to see what all this tempo work was about. Colin has taken over my programming and I think we got a good thing set up. We will see as time passes.

-Started with HPS. HORRIBLE. Was shooting for 115 today but my grip is shot from Sat WOD so only hit 110, but it was awesome considering I haven’t done any heavy lifting in 6 weeks.

-Next was the tempo movements, the B1 and B2 mean you do them alternating one after another until all the sets are completed. This was ridiculous. Haven’t done Hip extensions yet so was interested to see how I would do. The K2E were hard but got through it and the Hip extensions…..My butt was on fire! I haven’t felt that burn since the Games. Thanks Colin!

HPS-65,85,95,105F,105,110

Today

5 Rounds:

15 Pull-ups

20 Anchored Sit-ups

25 Double Unders

Rest 2 minutes b/t each round

For Total Time.

My grip is still weak today and my leg is still sore but this WOD was perfect. 15 pull-ups at a time were fine. Each round I didn’t break pull-ups or sit-ups and the rounds I broke Double unders ended up being right around 1:15 or so.

Rounds- 1:13,1:02,1:15,1:15,1:01

Total-5:46

My story

2009-11-03T08:44:00.000-08:00

I finally decided to start a blog. Other people kept telling me to make one so I could share with everyone what I am going through as well as knowledge and thoughts on everyday life. Hopefully it does some good.

I have been doing Crossfit for about 2 years come Feb. I competed in the 2009 Crossfit Games and came in 55th. Not the best I could of done but since then I have found the method behind all the madness. Since the Games I'm down 12lbs and 5% bodyfat so 138lbs and 17%.

Right after the Games (Aug 31st) I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma lymphatic cancer. September 24th I went in for surgery. They took a 8.5 x 2.3 x 3.0cm section out of my right groin, removing all the tissue and lymph nodes (mine was 16) out of that region. They also cut my Sartorius muscle off my hip and moved it over my Femoral artery and attached it to my inguinal ligament (the crease when you lift your leg) to protect it since there was nothing left to do that job anymore.

I'm currently about 6 weeks out of surgery and have started to get back into the gym hoping I'll be well enough to try and qualify come April or May(whenever Regionals will be). I'm still required to go through adjuvant therapy so depending on what that does to me will depend on whether or not I can make it. Regardless, I will be back for 2011.

I recently moved to Oxnard, CA and now have a new family at CFVentura, and very excited to start with everyone there. One of the owners, Colin Jenkins, is willing to help me recover and get me ready for the Games (haven't had a coach in 11 months so pretty excited) because I would end up hurting myself if I continued to do my own programming with my condition.

I'm excited to share my journey to recovery, and on the road to the 2010 CF Games.