Jan 31, 2010

A week!

Man I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. A lot has happened so I'll try to sum most of it up. First, driving back and forth everyday to UCLA and not being able to sleep in really sucks, especially on the weekends. Well beginning of the week I was in the hospital for the final portion of testing. It sucked of course but tried to make the best of it. My side effects have calmed down and I have started to feel better. This is awesome news for me of course because I get really tired of laying around ALL the time. I miss me. Got out Wednesday and they sent me home with a prescription of Morphine. Really? Geez. I hate pain meds especially the ones that make me high as a kite. I didn't need them though until this weekend. Other than all of this I made confirmation with work and my doctor about getting out so the process has officially started. No turning back. I'm excited for the new chapter that is going to begin in my life soon. This is my calling, this is where I start to make positive changes in everyone's life that I can. I will get better and I'm going to help others anyway I can:)

Well the first one is a video from the affiliate challenge we had a couple weekends go. I heard it was awesome. Wished I could of went. Faith you did an awesome job and I love the slow down of the guy that was "to sexy". Classic. Oh and Ben, wholly crap you sound amazing! I didn't know we had someone in the gym that could belt out like that. The second is an article. Just an interesting read. Sucks people go through this that type of stuff for a sport they love. You would think people would reconsider but they don't until they are actually going through all the pain. I wonder if the money is that good? The last website talks about high fructose corn syrup, if you get bored you can search around.
Anyways, I've been feeling so good I decided I was going to go to the gym Saturday morning but once I woke up my liver was in excruciating pain. It was making a bubbly feeling every time I breathe in and out and it hurt....BAD. I couldn't stretch all the way up. Needless to say I had to pop a Morphine at like 7 in the morning as my friend drove me to UCLA. It helped but I was sleepy all day and it felt like someone had punched the crap out of my liver and it was just crazy sore all day. It happened again today but I tried to hold out on the pain meds thinking it would go away....nope it didn't. Now this is really going to drive me crazy. I'm well enough and feel good enough to go and do something I love and I can't because my liver hurts. I hope it's my tumors dying because I'll gladly go through this pain knowing that. It's been over a month since I was consistent in the gym and I miss it and the people so my goal is to get back when the pain goes away. Tomorrow I go back to work again:( not happy. I'm going to drop another leave chit for a couple weeks so I can stay home. I'm done coming in just to sit there.....pointless.

Jan 23, 2010


It's amazing how much energy I have when I'm not at work.......that's got to be telling me something. Well I officially decided yesterday that I'm going to have them medically retire me from the military. I'm going to go home and be with my family. I got tons of options but just doing things one day at a time. I still got to tell my chain of command and talk to the doc about it. I get re-admitted to UCLA hospital tomorrow night so I'm going to have a bit of free time on my hands to handle things next week.

Another good read by Steven. He never ceases to amaze me.
I got some news last night that made me a bit upset but it was the last bit of salt to get thrown on the wound so I will do nothing but heal from here on out so I'm pretty excited.
I also decided to go to the gym today. I had to do something. My belly is still a bit swollen which means my liver function is still down so I know I'm crazy for even going but for those of you that know me...that's me. Got to be crazy to do what I do:) I almost had a breakdown. I know I'm going to have to start all over once I'm finally better and it's not easy but it's still hard to swallow. It's the mental breakdown of an athlete. I know everyone goes through it when a huge event occurs in their life...mine just happens to be a bit more serious than an injury....Stage 4 cancer. It's the biggest and hardest hurdle I will ever have to jump but once I jump it and I'm on the other side, so many great things will come out of me! Back to the gym, it was emotionally so hard to know I'm only performing at about 50%-60%, mentally hard to push through something that you know you are better at but physically your body isn't that strong anymore, and physically it just sucked. I know everyday it will get easier and I will be that much closer to getting back to normal again. After that went to breakfast and pigged out with the roomie!

Just did some cleans up to #105
2K row slow-9:29

Jan 22, 2010


First thing.......be HAPPY! It's Friday and we all made it to another beautiful weekend. It was hard for me but I know if I can do it all of you can too.
I decided to wait just a few days before I posted again because I wrote such a long post last time, got to give everyone time to read it along with everything else you do in your busy life. I actually had some other people post my last blog up on their sites (thank you so much) and this means a lot to me. All I have wanted, since I've started my blog is for people to learn from it.....that's it. To know more and more people are reading it makes me feel great to know I'm just making a bit of difference in your life. I'm not judgmental, very open minded, and have a lot of info to pass on. Anything I say, if I offend you, I'm sorry that's not my intention at all. I'm just here to help others step outside their box maybe even for the first time and take a chance. Most of you are crossfitters and do the unknown everyday and you train for the unknowable so you shouldn't be afraid to do it with other things even if they are mental:)

These videos are quite long but I talked with Robb awhile ago and he told us they were training this guy to break the world record for non-stop drumming so I wanted to post the outcome. He needed to go 120hrs and only made it 108 but still an amazing feat all the same. He talks about the aftermath and how the training helped with all of it. Congrats to Robb and Nicki, they did a good thing helping him.
Well today I feel the worst that I have yet since I've been on the trial meds. I think all the side effects decided to kick in today and man does it hurt. Light sensitivity, migraine, nausea and the list goes on so I won't be talking to much because the computer screen hurts too. Hope all of you are well and have a great weekend!

Jan 20, 2010

Taking to long

Meant to write yesterday but was pretty tired. I started back at work yesterday again and it takes so much out of me just to sit there. Guess I'm not keeping all of you interested if I can't update all the time. I wanted to go to the gym today because I've been feeling a bit better but need to hold it off until tomorrow to see how I feel.
I want to talk about something a bit different today besides my cancer. You probably guessed it already....Crossfit:) I do want to talk a little bit different about the subject though.
I started Crossfit about 2 years ago and I have learned SO much since then. I've become a new person because of it mostly for the better but some not too. As a coach, I've trained myself as well as earned certifications through Crossfit that has all taught me a lot. Since I haven't been able to physically and mentally work out I've noticed a ton of things that I didn't notice before. People get a new type of drive from the competitive world of Crossfit that to often puts blinders on to the rest of the world. They let it take over, control, and run their life. This is a horrible thing that I have seen happen not only to myself but close friends as well as coaches.
I decided to take my shot at training to go to the 2009 CF Games. I didn't understand the type of dedication it would take until later on. I started training hard in Jan and even harder come Feb when I no longer had a coach. I was a baby when it came to coaching and didn't even realize it. Doing trial and error in training with my friend Rudy, owner of CFAlexandria. I trained at 3 different gyms learning different styles of coaching, programming, and trying to become a better athlete myself. I read probably almost every article in the journal I could get my hand on that would help with anything. Subscribed to the performance menu and bought books from the famous Rip and Greg Everett. By May I was overtraining and all I ever thought about was Crossfit. It was like a disease. Any break I got in school I was on the computer looking at different WODs or texting Rudy on something to do with CF. Needless to say I got stomped when I went to the Games. I soon realized I had to give up the food in life that I had always loved in order to become "Elite", bread, pasta, cheese, milk, legumes, less fruit, and less sugar. I noticed I started having to spend more and more money on quality of life and CF stuff and never had anything left over to just go and "have a good time" or take a "mini vacation" without racking it on my credit cards. It's disgusting and exhausting but I did become what I dreamed of in a matter of 2 months. I lost 14lbs, 4% bf, became faster, stronger, and smarter. I was elite. I started blowing people out of the water and it made me feel good. No one really got to witness it besides Rudy and no one probably ever will because I don't ever want anything to ever consume my life like that again.
You can become very burnt out quick as an athlete and a coach if you allow this to happen. Crossfit becomes an addiction, no longer fun. It's almost like it becomes a chore to come into the gym everyday doing 1-4 WODs a day(yes I trained this much leading to the Games) and training your clients as well. Training for the Games is very taxing. I made it to the Games as a single competitor, my next goal is to go with a team just to say I did it. I know I'm not the only person that feels this way I just heard Tanya Wagner talk about it as well.
I want to live life again, save money, go on vacations and to just have fun doing and coaching Crossfit again. I want to eat what I want of course still staying within my standards. I'm not putting down CF either by no means and I don't want people to get a negative from this either because it did change my life for the better, forever. I know what it means to eat right and be the top 99% of being in the best shape of my life. As a coach, I've become very wise and really know how to get the most out of people performance wise. I know how to "push your buttons" as they would say and I still take the time to explain to you the why or how so you understand as well, oh and I know how to keep it fun.
If you want to train for
I hope you can take away some good info from this and even though for most of us that CF is your sport.....just don't make it your life. If you want to train for the Games do it. To be able to go is an honor and everyone should have the opportunity just don't let it consume everything you are and if it does happen to consume you, don't pass judgement on others because they eat different, aren't as fast or strong as you, or as smart as you because you aren't the best and you will eventually get stomped just as I did:) Enjoy the outside, your family, friends, money, and have fun because life is to short to have it consumed by one thing. I hope everyone has a good day, love you all!

Jan 15, 2010

Just want to say HI!

So this picture was taken only a day after I stated the study medication. It looks like the cancer is being eaten away. YES! DIE CANCER! Today it looks even worse, the skin has come off the top. This thing is disgusting! I really wish I could cut this thing off. I can't stand looking at it anymore. Overall I feel pretty good though. My breathing is a tiny bit better and my appetite is like a cavewoman right now. I'm so excited to be hungry and dying of thirst again. I'm eating more and actually tolerating it better than I have been. Belly is still big and prego but everything else seems to be a positive sign.

Ha! Soon I'll be back in the gym.

Jan 13, 2010


I don't quite know why I'm happy today but maybe because I started my study drug yesterday and I have high hopes for it making me feel better for awhile at least. I found out my belly was swelling because my liver is failing. It's quite painful when the doctors don't want to do anything for it. I just lay in bed all the time. I'm just waiting until these meds kick in so it helps. Decided to post up some pictures on what it looks like. Most people just say "hey Amanda now you look like me" but for those of you that know me.......this is about double in size and trust me it is. It's an extra 8 lbs and it hurts. Well mom here is the closest you'll get to me being pregnant...hehe. That's what I would look like, no thanks.

My doctor reassured me that this drug is only a temporary fix and it's only a matter of time before it doesn't work anymore. I talked with my father for awhile yesterday and my doctor and I think I'm going to start the process to get myself medically retired. I still have to talk to a few people about benefits side to see if it's the absolute best option but overall I think it will be the decision. I haven't told my chain of command yet and I'm not until I make my final decision, so those of you that read this and know my chain of command do not open your mouth because this is not final yet, thank you. I have to say that because it seems I've already had a problem with people going behind my back and doing things that I don't approve of because you didn't talk to me first. If I do decide this, my doc says it can take 6 months so I'll still be here for awhile. It's just kind of hard to justify staying away from family to be at work when I started dying last week. I know my work is like family but they can't fully wrap their head around what's going on. I mean, still expecting me to be at work? Really?! I'm having to take leave just because I can't be there because of what I'm going through.
I know I'm blabbing, sorry, just wanted to give a good update. I don't go back to UCLA until next Sun. I get readmitted then for another 3 1/2 days and then off to hopefully a normal life:)

Jan 9, 2010

No more counting

My New Years' kisses! Thanks guys, I love you lots! I don't know where I'd be without all your support.
Also, Happy B-day sis! She turns 12 today.......I can't wait to see you.
I decided to stop counting days until I reach my goal for my diet because it has been stretched out until Feb 1 because the trial limits what I can eat too. One of those things is chocolate. My cheat was going to be a lot of chocolate. I figured I would just stop counting so it will come faster. Well everyone, I've officially started my downhill "temporary" slump. On Monday, I started having some pain in my abdomen where my liver is all the time. I have a hard time getting to sleep and I can no longer sleep on my right side or my back. I'm constantly tired, barely making it 5+ hours without an extreme nap needed. A couple days ago my abdomen got really swollen. It's so swollen it's pushing my belly button out, I can't fully stretch up, and I definitely can't tighten it to do any type of WODs. I talked to my doc about draining the fluid but he said it causes scarring and possible digestive problems and he don't want to do that since I'm being put on the study drug in 3 days. They've offered me pain pills but of course I refuse because I hate the way it makes me feel. I hope everyone keeps praying because I need it. I've talked with Robb and Colin about my nutrition and training and I think I'm going to have to make adjustment because I don't have the strength to keep up with the constant contact. I attempted to WOD today just to get something in but I think that is coming to a stop as well until my swelling goes down.

Here is what I did today and it was actually just the remainder from the front squats I did on Mon:

A1. Weighted Bar Dips 40x1; 4-6 x 3 rest 20 sec b/t sets
A2. Strict Toe to Bar 12 x 3; rest 2 minutes b/t sets
For time:
400m Run
25 KBS 53lbs
250m Row

A1. Just BW
A2. Rx
WOD- used 35lb KB; 5:44

HR-didn't take

Jan 7, 2010


So I see 48 out of 52 days means I'm almost done with my personal goal for my diet. But since I have prohibited foods for the first 25 days of the trial (and chocolate is included in that) I will be extending it out further. Which is upsetting but can only help me in the long run. My cheat is going to be AWESOME and it includes a lot of chocolate! I want to apologize for not keeping this up the past couple days but Monday I came down with a 102 fever and it went down but has made everyday life very difficult for me. I was supposed to WOD on Monday but with a fever like that it wasn't happening. On Tuesday I attempted, but only got through the squats and the rest I was extremely sore so did a lot of ball rolling (it hurt bad) and then yesterday was running around getting all my stuff ready for the hospital. Yes ladies and gentleman, I'm finally here. I got admitted last night to start the trial and it a huge stress off my chest. The ball is rolling and no one's mess up can stop it because there is a timeline for EVERYTHING! I get out tomorrow I think so hopefully I can make up my gym days and still stay on my schedule(don't worry Colin I don't let anyone down especially when it comes to being a fighter) I'm still working too so it makes me sleepy early. Being in the hospital now though I'm catching all of you up to speed:)

All good stuff today, first is a recipe, second is a really good article on intensity ad mentality before WODs, and the third is just another sad day for the CF world. I wonder why all the good people end up leaving early. I wish more good people were here to make the world a better place and rid of all the scum bags.
Hopefully I'm not to crazy on this, they fed me a bunch of crap a couple hours ago and I've been quite loopy and sluggish too so if I miss words or things just might not make sense just try to figure out what I'm saying. Ok the only working out I've done was Tuesday and it was:

Front Squat 5,5,5 rest 180sec b/t sets


I was still running a fever and not feeling well so this was the best I could put up and I feel it was good numbers. I had more strength and a short metcon left on this day but hoping to make this up real soon especially sense I'm not sore anymore. Thanks Colin as always! Have a great day everyone!

Jan 3, 2010


Man I'm tired. I didn't think sleeping on an uncomfortable couch would make me this sleepy. It never has before. I'm hoping to catch up on some sleep in the next few days because if I start the trial Wed I know I won't be getting any sleep then. Not to much to say today.


Here is my WOD:

Hang Power Clean 5,5,5 rest 180sec b/t sets
Team Angie (one partner holds plank while the other works)
100 Pull-ups
100 Push-ups
100 Sit-ups
100 Squats


On the HPC I should of went heavier, had another 10lbs or so in me but was good for the crap I ate yesterday. The team WOD was fun. My partner and I gamed it quite well and it felt like we flew through the workout. I'll tell you though, trying to do push-ups after holding a plank position sucks. Thanks Shelly:)

BW-no scale

Jan 2, 2010


HAPPY NEW YEAR! I know I didn't post yesterday, kind of had a meltdown. I woke up yesterday morning and put in a load of laundry and dishes and 20 minutes later I had a grey water explosion in my house and mostly my bathroom. Needless to say a day down, the plumber came out today along with the carpet (yes it flooded my room as well) people, and my massive cleaning skills it's almost all better. The carpet people can't finish until Tuesday so I'm stuck sleeping at a friends' house right now because I don't want to be breathing all that crap in. I think tomorrow I will go home to sleep on the couch. Anyways, I took 2 rest days because I wanted to get all that crap taken care of. I went to a Rose bowl party yesterday(had a blast!) and I also ruined my diet yesterday. Yep I did. I was stressed beyond my limit yesterday and had to vent with unhealthy food. I ate a cupcake and 3 tacos with the shells. To most of you no big deal but for me that was a big no no. Can't wait to see what Robb says about this one. Well I wish everyone the best and I'm off to have a good night with friends. Oh and UFC is on tonight people......go watch it and have drinks for me! NOW! GO!