Well I'm at work right now and decided to update my blog since there isn't anything fun for me to do. I'm considering going to the gym today because I'm not in a ton of pain, just really sleepy. I'm hoping to just go home and nap and that way I can make it in tonight and if not I'll just do something at my house. I have a whole gym set-up at home I don't know why I don't use it more often.
This is going to be a bit long today so bear with me I'll try to sum it up as best as I can. I went to UCLA yesterday and for the first time got nothing but good news. My doctor hasn't seen me since he put me on the medication and he looked happy to see me as soon as he walked in the door. He interviewed me for side effects and etc on the medication(protocol stuff for the research on the trial don't want to bore you) and then he got into the stuff that I care about. The tumor on my leg has gotten smaller, yes, my liver swelling has gone down, Yes, he can no longer physically feel fluid in my belly(even though he says there is still some there), YEs, and lastly, my bloodwork is starting to look better, YES!!!!!!! 4 different things of good news......is that even possible in my situation, after all the bad news I've been getting? I started crying right in the office thanking the lord for answering everyones' prayers slowly. I just have to pray that the good news only continues. I know why they say one day at a time now, to me, I have so many up and down days I can never tell if I'm getting better or worse but when you got your doctor coming in that hasn't seen you in 3 weeks and he has a smile on his face and he's amazed with my progress. I have some more words of wisdom today after the link of learning(hmm interesting name, HA):
So I started thinking again last night, I have a rare and deadly type of aggressive Melanoma. I started doing some research awhile back on people that have had an agressive type of Melanoma and I haven't found any that have survived yet because it consumes your being so quick that you almost don't have time to react. My survival rate is 4 months from diagnosis. Do you know what that means? I'm supposed to be saying my good-byes this month. The way it was looking the statistics were right too. My liver started failing fast last month and I know my doctors didn't want to say anything to me but I could tell by their reactions yesterday when I went down to start my next cycle of treatment. I thnak God everyday for another beautiful day here and the opportunity to eventually help others when I get better. Life is so short and no one even realizes it. I mean you could walk outside today and have your life taken in an instant and everyone that knew you would say "your life got cut short". I really wish people would realize how important things are in their everyday life and not take it for granted. When you come home in a bad mood and your significant other, your kids, or even your pets try to make you feel better and you act like a stubborn selfish person and shun them away when really you should be relieved and grateful you have poeple like that in your life. Or how about when you got to go home for the "huge" family dinner at Thanksgiving or Christmas and your excited but at the same time you just want it to be over with? Again, thank God you have family and he's given you the blessing to have all of you be able to come together once a year to see and love one another. I'll tell you I miss my family. It's been a year and a half since I've taken a vacation just to see my parents. You kidding? Anyways, I just hope everyone can take a step back and just say thanks for what they have and enjoy it because could you imagine having to be in some serious pain saying goodbye to the people you love this month?